Bonita’s Blog

8 Things Smart

People Do…

by Bonita Bennett

1. Keep Their Secrets. At a college reunion not long ago, a cousin’s best friend confessed a long held secret after a night of many champagne cocktails.  She admitted she’d slept with her boyfriend (who later became her husband) while they were dating in college.  She claimed the secret had dogged her for years, and she was glad to finally be able to get it off her chest. The friend begged for forgiveness, but to no avail.   My cousin hasn’t spoken to her since.  So what did she gain?   We all have secrets.  Some, we will never tell, and some, by the very nature of what they hide, need to be told…but who do we tell them to?   Do we wait for someone we can trust, when a burden from our past is pushing us to confess or unload?  Is confession really as good for the soul as they say?   I say some secrets should remain untold.
2. Listen to that inner voice…aka intuition. It’s something we all have, but don’t always pay attention to.  It usually guides us into truth.  However, it’s often a battle to not let ego, fear or desire keep us from heeding its wisdom.  If it doesn’t feel right, the feeling shouldn’t be ignored.   .
3. Forgive! I have a friend who’s obsessed with being wronged from past relationships. She can’t move forward because her heart is still affected by all the hurt she sustained.  Forgiveness refreshes the soul like a shower refreshes after a sweaty workout.
4. Take advantage of the moment. Procrastination is not a daily visitor. Smart people bask in the sweetness of completion. Tomorrow’s choices aren’t promised.  The focus is on piling as much as you can in a 24 hour period.
5.  Leave the past behind. They forget about the unpleasantness of yesterday. They know it’s all over at midnight.  Each new day is greeted with anticipation for good and with gratitude.
6.  Adopt compassion. They extend warmth to everyone they meet. You never know when a kind word can swing a heart from despair.  The story of the freshman teenager, who planned to commit suicide one day after school, and the classmate who sensed his sadness and befriended him is a standout. When he graduated from high school four years later as the class valedictorian, he shared with the audience how the boy’s kind gesture saved his life.
7. Never burn a bridge. You never know who you may need, or whose pardon you may have to beg. Smart people close the door when needed, but never slam it. The person you cursed out this morning in traffic could be the nurse you need to bring you some water this evening.
8. Pay attention. They strive to discover the lesson in the bruises and scrapes they incur in life that oftentimes are designed to help us become who we’re supposed to be.

Bonita Bennett, founder, publisher  Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of  the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,”  and The Coming Of Dawn.  She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert, and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem solving are well-known in her field.  Bonita Bennett is also the editor-in-chief of Being Single Magazine.   Be sure to get your copy of  her two books…Meanwhile, read the  excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming Of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams.