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6 Points To Ponder

After A Great First Date

by Lisa Laird

Wonder what he’s thinking?  Don’t worry about it. The average guy’s mind is like the tide when it comes to his feelings…Sometimes they come and go.  So, never assume you really know him.  Trust your instincts for the truth and take what he says with a grain of salt until he proves otherwise. Don’t cling to his every word like it’s a life raft.

Think friendship first. Start out in a friendly tone when you meet a guy. Don’t rush into the romance thing too soon.  I used to envision each new handsome, accomplished face I met on my arm permanently before the first martini arrived.  I also dated too many guys I ended up not liking as a person because I was blinded by the glamour of their “package.”

Everyone can’t feel your flavor. We have to always keep in mind that every man has the type of woman he’s attracted to, and sometimes we fail to fall into his category.  This fact should never be taken personally.  If you meet a guy, and it doesn’t work out, it simply means it wasn’t supposed to work out.  It took me a long time to learn this lesson.  I was often caught up in feeling rejected, unqualified, and less than, whenever I didn’t get a follow-up call after a first date or when a relationship didn’t pan out, but I know better now.

Don’t be mirror-obsessed. When you’re on a date, don’t run to the ladies’ room every five minutes to check your face.  Many guys see this action as being overly self-conscious, which translates to low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.

Don’t overuse your imagination. Don’t create your own definition of his words, and don’t interpret his signals to fit your mode of thinking. Never try to rationalize what you don’t understand regarding his behavior.  Seek clear-cut answers to whatever questions you may have in the relationship by simply asking him.

The authentic test. Every guy who looks good acts good and smells good ain’t necessarily good.  I’ve been fooled by the best, and I had to learn the lesson by being bumped on the head several times.   It’s not what he drives, but what he hides.  A woman must pay attention and look below the surface to discover the real man.

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