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Bonita’s Blog

Your Feelings…

Mediocre Or Magnificent?

by Bonita Bennett

You are what you think…I learned long ago that to be comfortable with who you are is the epitome of true freedom.  I know several people who are prone to look down their noses at  what they see as “lesser souls” while socially clamoring to be recognized as equals by those whom they consider to be on a higher rung on the ladder of life.

There are many who have unresolved feelings of inferiority that have been embedded for years, while some are struggling to overcome.  This is often apparent in social settings where it’s important that their names are recalled instantly and smiles linger in their direction.

Money, clothes and attitude are often used by those who feel less esteemed, to bring them up to a standard of the acceptability they lack on the inside.  When someone has the tendency to feel less than, oftentimes they have suffered either by their own hand or at the hands of others.  This person is usually convinced subconsciously that they don’t measure up in some form or fashion as a person to be admired and respected on the basis of who they are.  Therefore, it is all too common for those of this mindset to scour and scratch the earth for a place of honor, respect and approval by all means necessary.  However, this is seldom accomplished without disapproval from some aspect of the observing public.

The person who feels inferior is most likely to easily feel slighted, overlooked, disregarded or passed over.  I believe that we all have experienced such feelings at some point in our lives for different reasons, but few realize that our insecurities may manifest in our behavior and/or actions.

Here are some common signs of low self-esteem vs. good self-esteem..Those who feel inferior…often claim to have co-signers to their viewpoint to add credibility to their position. They believe they need an “entourage of thinkers” for their opinions to be accepted.  “I believe such and such and Sally and Bob said the same thing.”  Those who don’t…express their views and label them personal.  They have no need for support or backup…Those who feel inferior…are often heard saying, “so and so doesn’t like me.”  This person doesn’t expect to be liked, and either doesn’t try or tries too hard.  Those who don’taren’t usually aware of who may dislike or disapprove of them, because it’s a non-issue.  They expect to be liked and accepted and don’t worry if they’re not.  This is usually apparent in their demeanor…Those who feel inferior…are usually self-promoters who do so by either excessive bragging or ostentatious displayThose who don’t…seldom mention their assets or accomplishments.  Their accolades usually come from other sources. Those who feel inferior…usually operate or communicate from a defensive position because of the unforgotten pain of their past.  They lie in expectation of disappointment.  Those who don’t…expect the best…whether they get it or not

With those who feel inferior, everything and everyone is considered suspect until proven otherwise.  They often enter a door feeling that their inadequacies are on display.  They are not intuned to their self-worth because they use a measuring stick that is frayed and bent from the memories of their experiences, which usually has taken up permanent residence in their hearts and minds.

The key to overcoming feelings of inferiority is to change the way one sees one’s self, and to work hard to see yourself as The Creator sees you.  Whereby, you are loved deeply, accepted wholly and protected always.  When this new attitude becomes apparent, others will automatically fall in step and begin to see you in a different light, because you view yourself in a different light.

Bonita Bennett, publisher  Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of  the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,”  and The Coming Of Dawn.  She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert, and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem solving are well-known in her field.  Bonita Bennett is the publisher and founder of Being Single Magazine

Be sure to get your copy of  her two books…Meanwhile, read the  excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your DreamsThe Smart Woman’s Guide To Romance.

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