The 10 Women
Men Run
From Quick!
by Craig Gunter
Believe it or not, men have a harder time meeting a true woman of substance than the masses would believe. Therefore, on behalf of my fellow searchers and other meandering brothers, here are the ten types men run from as soon as we see an open door.
Demanding Diane – is usually very pretty, sends you a cute card after the second date, and immediately expects your feelings and gestures to follow hers. If she brings you a gift, you must reciprocate sooner than later. She has an unwritten manual on how guysshould act, and she constantly quotes from it. She demands that all of your time and attention be geared towards her. She is never satisfied.
Clinging Carol – becomes fastened to your shirtsleeve after the first date. You cannot and shall not move without her, if she has her way. She has the tracking skills of a bloodhound. She calls morning, noon and night to make sure you don’t forget her, and she can find you anywhere you go on the planet.
Babbling Barbara – talks without stopping. She is usually book smart, but afraid of the silence. She probably believes that when you’re not talking to her, you’re possibly thinking about another woman. Her constant rattle of non-essential dialogue can have you walking backwards at the end of the night, and feeling relieved when the door closes behind her. If you hesitate in conversation, she’ll finish your sentence and make you feel like an idiot.
Awkward Anna – is clumsy in manner, and fumbles her way through your time together. She is very self-conscious, and it shows. She is unsure of herself and it’s obvious that she wonders what you see in her. She spends the entire evening asking for permission and apologizing for being herself.
Jackie the Joker – Jackie tells jokes all night and says things to be intentionally funny. She views her sense of humor as her greatest asset. She shies away from serious dialogue that could require an intellectual exchange, and she enjoys being the center of attention, when others are around. When she leaves, your face usually hurts from faking so many smiles.
Wanda The Whiner – is a complainer who doesn’t like anything that is outside her frame of reference. She’s usually attractive, but after a date filled with “I don’t like this” or “I don’t like that,” your nerves are worn to a frazzle and you have deleted her number..
Timid Theresa – spends the date starting sentences and not finishing them. Her conversation is usually disjointed, and therefore uninteresting. She can’t look you in the eye, and she’s afraid of not meeting your approval. She has no known opinions on any given subject, and she has no idea as to what she has going for her.
Homely Helen – doesn’t want to go outside her comfort zone. Anything done with her has to be within the confines of her living quarters. Her usual line is, “I’m leery of crowds or I don’t have anything to wear.”
Paula The Player – is super fine and knows it. She is usually seeing you and at least two or three other guys. She is trying to make up her mind on which one is the best, and she’s juggling all of us around (schedule-wise) in an attempt to make a determination. She is confused, but she covers it well with a dazzling smile that keeps you coming…but not for long.
Frigid Freda – has been hurt before and it shows. Her guard is up from the moment you approach her. She practically asks for identification. She’s suspicious, paranoid and determined not to let another man get too close. With her, you spend an enormous amount of time trying to prove to her that you don’t bite.
Lady Lisa – however, is who I’m looking for. She is the girl in my dreams. She has the face of an angel, and the heart of a lion. She is bold, yet sweet. Confident, yet humble. Gracious, yet assertive. Charming, but sincere. Seasoned, but fresh. Loving, and strong. Sensitive, but sensible. The list could go on and on. I smile to myself as I imagine her face on my way out of the door to continue my search. Who knows…perhaps tonight is my night.
