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12 WaysYoung woman flirting with her boyfriend

To Blow The

First Date

by Lisa Laird

A friend called in the middle of the night, somewhat distraught because she had just gotten in from a date that she felt did not go well.  It had been a blind date, but she was smitten with the love bug upon first sight of him.  She described her date as tall, gorgeous and interesting, but she was convinced he had found her to be just the opposite.  She admitted that during the course of the evening, she was very much aware of her rambling due to her lack of confidence.  She also knew she committed one of the cardinal sins when she asked if his teeth were capped because they were so perfect.

The expression on his face made her know that she had successfully blown the evening, and that was further substantiated when the waiter came over and offered dessert, and he snappily asked for the check without responding to the offer.  However, though my friend had read well the writing on the wall, she still insisted on pushing the envelope by asking when he dropped her off at her car, if she’d see him again.  He told her bluntly,   “Frankly, I don’t think so,” and drove off.

She’s not the first person to experience such fallout on a first date and she won’t be the last.  Making a good impression with a stranger is not always easy, and some are more successful at it than others.  Here are some great tips on what not to do the next time you connect with an attractive stranger…

  • Watch what you say.  Your conversation plays a large role in how appealing you remain.  If you’re gorgeous, but dull, the evening won’t go well.  Check your conversation to see if you’re funny, interesting and witty.  Be current.  Know what’s going on in the world, and strive to have an interesting view on life.
  • Never act too excited to be there.  Treat it as a nice break from a busy life and never act if you feel the person is doing you a favor.
  • Read the signs well.  I don’t care if you’d been looking forward to this date all week, don’t try to prolong the evening when it’s obvious the other person has moved on mentally and is ready to call it a night.  Act like you have a life, and other important things to do.
  • Compliment your date on their appearance, but not effusively.
  • Be very cognizant of how often you use the “I” word.  Try not to overload your date with how great you are and how loved you are by all who know you.
  • Don’t ask imposing questions like, “what is that thing on your nose?” or “Is your hair a weave?”
  • Never do anything you don’t want to do, and don’t try to impress him/her with your “flexibility” if you don’t feel it.”  Also, if you’re “starved,” meaning it’s been a long time since you’ve been out on a date, work hard to appear fed and content.
  • Don’t tell your life story on the first date.  It comes off like it’s been a long time since you had someone to talk to or that you may be lonely.
  • Try not to be a “know it all,” who’s been everywhere and seen everything.  Be impressed, but don’t gush.
  • Relax and be yourself.  Don’t pretend to be the person you think this person might like.  Those who depict their true selves have a higher success rate with the opposite sex, than those who don’t.
  • Listen well and pay close attention.  Don’t spend time selling yourself.  The person will either like you or they won’t.  And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean you were less than, it just means it wasn’t meant to be.
  • When the night ends, and you’re uncertain as to whether you made a good impression or not, don’t worry about it.  Remember, you can’t ever lose what destiny has in store for you.


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