The Fight Over A Man: And The Winner Is…

Bonita’s Blog

The Fight Over

A Man: And The

Winner Is…

by Bonita Bennett

Not too long ago, while dining in a very elegant restaurant, my experience was interrupted by a loud outburst from across the room. When I got up to see what prompted a crowd to assemble, I was shocked.  A well-dressed woman was tussling on the floor with another well-dressed woman. They were in fight mode, which included hair-pulling and name calling and the waiters were falling over themselves trying to break up the fight.

Eventually, the police were called and the women were pulled apart and escorted to their cars, as I finished my meal in a state of shock. Later, I learned the fight was over a man, who was nowhere on the premises.

The scene was unfortunate, but not uncommon. Here were two beautiful, well-dressed women, who wore intelligent facades, fighting over a man that neither was married to and the initiator claimed her justification was valid because he said he was her man.  Incidents such as this are not rare.  Studies show that across the country, the numbers are growing of women are fighting and killing each other over a man.  Recently, in New York, a college student, who had previously suffered harassment from an ex-girlfriend of her boyfriend, was stabbed to death by this same woman, as she was leaving a supermarket.

I recall an incident in college where a real roughneck, who disguised herself as a girl, approached me menacingly about a fellow college student I dated off and on. Though I was known to be conflict-oriented, my brain was working that day and I denied knowing him that well. I promised her I would never go near him again and I’m glad I did. Three months later, she stabbed another girl in the back when she caught them out together.  Fortunately, the girl lived, but the backstabber went to jail.  As should all women who attack another woman over a guy.  Meanwhile, such scenarios always prompt me to ask questions that I doubt could ever be answered intelligently.

• Why does the infuriated party usually exact her fury on the woman? Why not the man?
• Why is it that a woman will forgive the man who dated her friend behind her back and won’t forgive her friend?
• Why do women fight over men they are not married to?
• What prevents a man from getting another woman, after the identified competition has been attacked?

Answers anyone?

Bonita Bennett, founder, publisher  Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of  the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,”  and The Coming Of Dawn.  She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert, and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem solving are well-known in her field.  Bonita Bennett is also the editor-in-chief of Being Single Magazine.   Be sure to get your copy of  her two books…Meanwhile, read the  excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming Of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams