Single Sketches
“Just Saying”…
The Men
Anthony: “I don’t care how fine a woman is, I can’t stand to be in the company of one who complains a lot. This ranges from her job to the food in the restaurant, to the hike in her rent.”
Zach: “On our first date, she told me she was looking for a husband, and if I wasn’t interested in pursuing the possibilities between us, it was best for me not to call her again. I was fascinated by her directness, and I never stopped calling. We were married nine months later.”
Darryl: “The last blind date I had was so boring that I pretended to be sick immediately after dinner. I couldn’t even fake it long enough for dessert. She was pretty, but her conversation made me itch.”
Hal: “A very wealthy woman sent me a Rolex watch once as a thank-you gift after I escorted her to a black-tie event. I knew it was meant to obligate me for further encounters, but I refused the watch and all my guys think I’m crazy.”
The Women…
Renee: “If I’m out with a guy who quibbles at all over the price of valet parking, menu costs, and theater tickets, I make that the last date.”
Maria: “I was out with a guy on a second date, who casually mentioned that he had an ex-girlfriend, who was a “fatal attraction” type, and we had gone to a party. When we were leaving the party, I stopped to go to the bathroom. My date said he would wait outside. When I stepped out the door later, a woman walked up and shot him in the chest in the middle of a crowd. Fortunately, he survived but our relationship didn’t.”
Cari: “I don’t bring a guy around my children unless I’m wearing his engagement ring. I don’t want my kids to become too familiar with someone who may not be around long.”
Charli: “I’d been dating this guy a couple of weeks when he invited me to join him in New York on a week-long business trip. He gave me his credit card with instructions to charge as much as $5000 for a wardrobe to travel in. It was the most incredible trip and an unforgettable adventure. I was distraught when later I found out he was married.”
Vickie: “I have a habit of smiling at passing strangers, and one day I was walking down the street with my boyfriend, and I smiled at a tall guy who was walking past us. Before I knew what hit me, my boyfriend smacked me across my head so hard that I fell to the ground. But when I got up, I kicked that fool hard in his groin and left him in tears on the street. Needless to say, we are no more.”