The Misgivings Of A Mistress

The Misgivings

Of A Mistress

by Lyn Cardin

Believe it or not, there are many single women out here hooked up with married men who are promising to leave their wives.  But they never do…really.  I ought to know.

When I first met Chauncey, he was charming, handsome, and immediately upfront.  He had a wife and three children.  I was very lonely at the time and tired of looking for love.  So, what originally began as an alternative to a hermit-like existence, evolved into a torrid love affair, as a secret meet-up became a way of life for me.

However, when Christmas came and suddenly I was alone again because he had to be home with his family.  I didn’t see him for a week.  I freaked out, because, for the last three months, he had been pledging undying love for me and disdain for his wife.  When he appeared again, I immediately confronted him about my status and his feelings.   As expected, he claimed I was the most important thing in his life and the only reason he was still at home, was because of the children. He did not want them growing up alone without him being in the house.  In other words, he wanted it all. Both of us.

But I had other plans.  I was determined to become his wife and I pulled out all stops to make it a reality.  I was also driven by the fact that the same had been done to me two years before.  My husband left me for another woman, and my heart still stung from the pain.

However, when I ran into him and his wife at a party and they looked like Mr. and Mrs. America, I went on strike.  When he called again, I told him not to ever call or come near me again, unless he was ready to marry me and I walked out of his life…”forever.”

Well, absolute withdrawal worked and he became frantic after I refused to see him or take his calls for a month.  (It was agony for me, but I got through it.)  After all, I had a plan.  One month later, he moved out and into a hotel.  Two months later, he filed for divorce.  Six months later, we became husband and wife.  I’d won and I was ecstatic.

During the first sixty days, he showered me with every present imaginable. We took an exotic honeymoon with all the trimmings and I was the happiest woman on the planet.  I was 35 years old and finally living the life I dreamed about.

Then suddenly, without warning, he became withdrawn and hostile.  He began staying out late with no explanation.  He found fault in everything I did.  He began to question how I spent money and why.  Suddenly, weekend business trips became frequent.  Lipstick appeared on his shirt collars and mysterious perfume covered his ties and suits.

Finally, I confronted him one night after he came home obviously intoxicated.  He confessed that he had been seeing his ex-wife.  “I’m moving back home where I belong,” he shouted.  “I’ve been a fool.  I never should have left my family.  I can no longer live a lie.  I don’t love you.  I was infatuated with you.  I love my wife and my children.”

With that, he proceeded to pack while I begged and pleaded for him to stay.  With me screaming in the background, he called his ex-wife and asked could he come back home.  Slowly, he put down the phone and glared at me without speaking.  He didn’t have to…the disgust was all over his face.  After he closed the door for the final time, I stood watching out of the window as he stacked suitcases hurriedly in the trunk of his car.

Who cares, was the first thought…suicide was the second.   I felt alone again and this time I felt abandoned.  As I stood there, I realized that I should have never expected to succeed in someone else’s misery.  I had made his ex-wife’s life miserable through my greed and selfishness and now it was my turn to pay.  The tears came slowly, as I turned out the lights to hide in the dark.  I had not won after all.

More Voices On This Subject…

Jena:  “My cousin cries nightly over a married man who has two other women and she uses the excuse that “she loves him,” as the reason why she doesn’t let him go.  I dated a married man for ten years who promised to divorce his wife and marry me.  And when his wife died, he married her sister.”

Carline:  “My sister is right now dying to marry a man who has left his wife and has promised to marry her.  But since he moved away from home, he is suddenly not returning her calls.  I was with a married man who left his wife and married me, and we didn’t stay married for one year.  He was miserable and so was I.”

Mauri:  “This subject reminds me of a scoundrel whose wedding I attended recently.  He had left his wife to marry the “woman of his dreams” who was my friend, three years ago, and he kept putting her off with the excuse that he was waiting because he just wanted some time to be free.  Two months ago, he married an entirely different woman, which caused my friend to slit her wrists.  She survived, but she’s still angry.”

Beth:  “Six years ago, I wanted to be in a relationship so badly, that I began dating a married man. I married him after only knowing him six months after he claimed he divorced his wife to marry me.   However, he ended up making my life a living hell.  He told me every day after the first year, that he had made a mistake in marrying me.  But I couldn’t let go.  I was determined to make him lose his regret.  Then one day, he suddenly moved out and I later learned that he went back to his ex-wife.”