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I caught my fiance`out with his ex-girlfriend four months after he proposed to me.

by Sarah Smart

Q.  My boyfriend proposed four months ago and we set the wedding date for February.  Two weeks ago, I ran into him in a club dancing with an ex-girlfriend.  After an angry confrontation, he confessed that he still loved her and he called our wedding off. A week later, he came back begging and apologizing, saying he realized the only woman he loved was me and asked me to forgive him and to go through with the wedding.  I’m confused as to what to do.  I have never felt so hurt in my life, and there’s a part of me that says what he did is a warning of what’s to come if I marry him, but I believe that  love only comes once in a lifetime, and therefore I want to believe him.  What do you think?

A.  I think you should thank your lucky stars or whoever you thank for allowing you to see in advance what a mistake you’d be making. This guy is obviously the one who is confused.  When you marry, you want to feel certain that you are marrying someone who really loves you.  The only way you can know, is if he knows and it doesn’t appear that he is in possession of this knowledge.   I say, follow the part of you that is apprehensive and save yourself some grief.

Q.  Two years ago, I met the perfect man. He was good looking, fun to be with, successful and affectionate.  Three months later, he dumped me without any explanation.  I was devastated and experienced a hurt unimaginable.  It took me a year to get over the rejection.   I am now involved with a great guy, who until three weeks ago, I had imagined as my husband to be.  Then I ran into “Mr. Perfect” by accident and everything I felt came flooding back.  He told me he realized how badly he’d treated me, but that he ran, because he had fallen in love with me and he wasn’t ready.  Now, I’m miserable, because I can’t stop thinking about him and I long to be with him.  My problem is that I don’t want to hurt the man who is currently in my life, but I’m desperate to be with my ex again.

A.  You have a serious problem and your problem is not only your revived feelings for the one who treated you cruelly, but you need to re-evaluate your feelings for your current guy. Secondly, remember you “ran into” Mr. Perfect.  He didn’t come looking for you to express that endearing sentiment.  He could be one of those guys who goes after what he doesn’t have, or suffers from temporary boredom.  He certainly doesn’t sound like someone you should entrust your feelings to again.

Got a problem?  We’ve got the answer.  Send all your questions regarding The Single Life to  beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SinglesScenes in the subject line. 


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