Point Of View
Sex & The Single Girl
The Guilt Over
by Victoria Simone Jones
May 14, 2019
My best friend who has always had more freedom than me, when it came to being straightforward from a personal aspect, mentioned something recently in conversation that floored me. She confessed that since she hadn’t dated anyone in almost two years, she had begun to regularly use masturbation as a means to offset her loneliness and her sexual drive. She mentioned that she had also began to feel guilty about it, since she had recently joined church.
As I listened to her, I felt somewhat chagrined that I didn’t have the guts to admit that I, too from time had engaged in similar activity. However, as I reflected on it, I knew that I was not alone in my position of silence.
Despite, the large number of singles who masturbate, many find it difficult to talk about. Guilt is the number one reason why many refuse to bring the subject up, because it is commonly viewed as an unnatural act, even by those who participate.
Masturbation, according to the dictionary is defined as a self aided act of rubbing one’s genital organ or using sexual toys until excitement is climaxed by an orgasm without intercourse. Masturbators usually watch sexual explicit movies, which encourage sexual fantasies in the mind and can sometime bring them into an intense orgasm or prolonged pleasure. Unfortunately, this activity can be very addictive, and can lead to exclusion from sex with another person.
Some researchers believe that the act of masturbation is a way that we learn how to relate sexually with ourselves and to recognize our pleasure spots and sensations. Also, there are some who believe that it’s okay because it keeps you from fornication, sexual diseases, and hurting someone else. But, is this not taking matters into your own hand? Is our genital sexual organ designed to bring sexual gratification to ourselves?
What Does God Have To Say?
In the Bible, in Gen 4:1 (KJV) it first mentions sex with two people (Adam and Eve), who conceived children through sexual intercourse. In 1 Cor 7:1-5 (KJV) it speaks about marriage and sex as being the sharing and joining of each other’s body. True, God’s word does not mention the word masturbation, but this Bible principle adequately covers the subject of masturbation. In Colossian 3:5, 6 (NWT) it states, “Deaden, therefore your body members, as respect to fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetness, which is idolatry…,” As we can see masturbation is an immoral practice and this explains why masturbators are generally ashamed of this act and most would rather hide it from the sight of others.
Another scripture in 2 Timothy 3:2 (NWT) states, “that people will be lovers of themselves,” is this not auto-erotism, which literally means self-love or erotic love of oneself. Hmmm, that sounds like masturbation. If a person persists in satisfying themselves sexually, this may or could cause a person to become self-centered and unable to relate to others on an intimate level.
Well some may say, I don’t want to fornicate, or catch a disease. In 1 Cor 7:9 (KJV) states, “if they cannot contain (have self control) let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn.” This really gives you something to think about. For those who may not want to marry or aren’t ready for marriage now, there is no evidence that self control will hurt your sex life.
What can one do to have self control?
- Masturbators should avoid looking at things that will stimulate improper desire.
- Occupy your mind with other things. (stay busy)
- Pray to God for help; (never underestimate the power of prayer).