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by Sarah Smart
Q. I have been seeing this guy for over four months and he’s been pressing me to let him move in with me. He promises we’ll be married within a year, but somehow I don’t trust that he means it. He keeps implying he doesn’t feel my love because I won’t let him move in. I do love him, but I don’t know how to tell him no. What would you do?
A. I wouldn’t let him move in until after the ceremony, and we shared the same last name. Follow your instincts…they’re seldom wrong.
Q. I went on a first date with a nice guy who ended up not appealing to me at all. The problem is that I can’t get rid of him. He calls me constantly asking for another date, and I keep telling him I’m too busy to go out again. His calls are driving me crazy. What can I do to stop the calls?
A. Try the truth. Tell him that though he’s a nice guy, you didn’t feel any chemistry between you, and you’d like to take a pass.
Q. I recently met a guy online who lives in another state, and we’ve been corresponding via email for the past three weeks. Now, he wants to come here and meet me, and he wants to stay with me during his visit. We’ve really bonded over the phone, and we both believe we’ve fallen in love, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to expect to stay with me. I think he should go to a hotel, but he’s being insistent about coming here. What do you think?
A. I would tell him he has to stay at a hotel, and refuse to open my home to him. Personally, I would be leery of a guy who insisted on staying with someone he’s never met, and who falls “in love” so easily.
Q. I recently met the most wonderful guyon a blind date, and he seems as thrilled with me as I was with him. I was extremely excited about the potential of the relationship, until I mentioned his name to my brother, and he happened to know him. My brother is a policeman, and he says this guy was once arrested for stalking an ex-girlfriend. We have been out at least four times, and he has grown very intense about our relationship. Of course now, I’m no longer interested, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t wish to end it abruptly, but I know of no other way. What would you do?
A. I would pretend to be suddenly burdened with some personal issues, and state in a depressed voice over the phone that I’m not really ready for any kind of emotional involvement right now, and that I just want to be to myself. This guy could be very dangerous. Be careful.
Q. If your best friend didn’t invite you to her bridal shower because her sister didn’t like you, would you invite her to yours?
A. No, because we would no longer be friends.
Q. Do you think it’s appropriate to answer to your significant other when the phone rings and he/she wants to know who called you.
A. No…do you? If so, stop doing it!
Q. I am dating my ex-fiancee’s girlfriend, and have been for the last eight months. We broke up three years ago and I haven’t seen her since. Her sister is getting married in a few weeks and my girlfriend insists on attending with me in tow. But I don’t wish to go, because I don’t want to run into my ex-fiancee’. However, at this point, I’ve been giving an ultimatum…either I go or she’s gone. She thinks I still care for my ex-fiancee, and she has a point to make. What would you do?
A. Do what you want to do, based on what’s important to you. Your wishes, your feelings or your girlfriend. Do you care enough about her to compromise your wants? Then do it!
Send all your perplexities to Sarah Smart at beingsinglemag@msn.com
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