The Singles Scene – 4-14-22

The Singles Scene  

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I am in a situation where I am dating a man who explained upfront that he was involved with another woman.  He claimed he had been with her a long time and didn’t know how to end the relationship.  He says he loves me.  However, he takes her to the places I want to go, and sees me in the wee hours of the morning.  I don’t want to be the other woman, but I’m frustrated, because I feel like one.  I have been trying not to be pushy and demanding, regarding this situation.  My friends say I should give him an ultimatum.  Either her or me.  But I have never known ultimatums to work for anyone.  Men seem to always rebel against “forced options.”  I’m miserable.  What would you advise?

A.  First of all, you are the other woman, and obviously the least favored. If you have a problem sharing him with another woman, don’t!  Remember, you teach others how to treat you.  Locate some self-esteem and self-respect and walk with it.  It seems you are the cause of your own misery.  Remember, men (and others) only respect you when you respect yourself.  You’re getting the short end of the stick and you asked for it.  Next time, opt for a man who is really single.

Q.  I am involved with a woman, who I really care about, but whose distrust and suspicions are driving me crazy. She follows me, searches my car and has hacked into my voice mail.  Recently, she attacked me when I was leaving work with a female co-worker, and caused a scene outside my job.  When I later broke up with her, she slashed her wrists and had to be hospitalized.  I am perplexed as to what to do.  I want to end the relationship because I’m exhausted, but I don’t want to be responsible for her hurting herself.  What do you think?

A.  I think that if you’re ready to move on, you should. It is obvious that her problems extend way beyond your relationship.  You cannot keep a person from hurting themselves by staying with them.  Many times, such acts are employed as a ploy to merit your sympathy. You need to do what you have to do to have peace in your life.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.