SingleScenes

I am secretly dating a white guy and I’m concerned about letting my friends know.

by Sarah Smart

January 25, 2018

Q.  I met a guy online who seems to be everything I was looking for, but he’s white.  I feel good that his lifestyle has been so cultivated that my race doesn’t matter. However, I’ve been secretly dating him though I’m sure my family would probably be supportive, but I’m concerned about consulting my friends, and what kind of sign would I send to my impressionable daughter?   I don’t want to send signals that black men are not important to me.  I just have not met one who comes close to having the same ideals, goals and religious beliefs that this man and I have so far.  What do you think?

A.  I say go for it and don’t worry about friends. Real friends want whatever makes you happy. You cannot live your life to coincide with the opinions of others.  However, interracial dating does put you in a semi-spotlight and only you can make the decision on whether you can stand the “attention.”  Lastly, your daughter should be told that her world is filled with people of all kinds and love and caring does not come in color form.  Teach her about freedom of choice and feeling confident enough to stretch beyond her environment.  Happiness can come in all colors and different packages.

Q.  What would you do if you found out that your best friend’s new boyfriend is engaged to another woman across town and through weird coincidence you’ve been invited to the engagement party? My friend is so excited and thrilled over her relationship with this guy, and I don’t want to shatter her bubble.  However, the relationship is in the early stages and I think maybe it’s best for her to know before she invests too much, but I don’t want to be the one to tell her.  Any suggestions.

A.  Take her to the engagement party and let him tell her.

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