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The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I was involved happily with a guy for three months.  We went on a cruise together and I thought we’d become very close.  When we got back, he suddenly stepped away without one word of explanation.  After a week, I called him and asked what was the problem?  He said that we should both seek the company of other people and that we should move on with our lives.  I am so hurt and immobilized by his actions and comments that I cannot function.  I can’t eat or sleep, because I don’t know what happened…..what’s wrong with me…..or why he suddenly doesn’t want me anymore. He won’t talk to me and refuses my calls.  What would you do in my shoes?

A.  I would stop worrying about what happened, count it as a mysterious failed relationship and work hard to untie myself emotionally. The reason why may be an answer you’ll never get. Stop beating yourself up because he no longer wants you.  Our self-esteem always takes a dive, whenever a relationship ends before we’re ready for it to.  But it doesn’t always mean that there’s something wrong with you.  The key thing is…..what could be one man’s pain can be another man’s joy.  Or…..if one man prefers chocolate ice cream over strawberry, it doesn’t mean that strawberry isn’t good.  It’s just a matter of preference. You may want to seek counseling regarding this matter, because the right answer lies within you. Stay strong! You can overcome this rejection.

Q.  I am on my way to the altar with one man and I’m in love with his brother. Our wedding is two weeks away and my family has spent a lot of money.  But each day I realize that I settled for this guy because I couldn’t have his brother.  I cannot go on with this farce. My mother told me to go through with the wedding because my fiancé is such a good catch and I’ll eventually fall in love with him.  My family is also very concerned about the embarrassment.

A.  I would not take my mother’s advice. If you haven’t fallen in love yet, it is most likely you won’t.  But you need to tell your fiance that you have thought about it a long time and that you are not ready to be married.  There is no point in telling him the truth.  It will serve no purpose.  The sooner you tell him…the sooner he can get started getting over you. It’s good you came to this realization before the marriage.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.

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