SingleScenes – 5-19-19

SingleScenes

I’m in a very casual relationship with a woman who has a friend I’m very attracted to.  Do you think it would be wrong to pursue the feeling, which appears mutual?

by Sarah Smart

May 19, 2019

Q.  There’s a woman I’ve been dating on an infrequent basis, who recently introduced me to her best friend who just moved here from out of state. It was chemistry at first sight for me and it appeared to be mutual.  The air was so strong between us that the sparks went jumping as we tried to play off the attraction.  My problem is that I want to pursue the feeling, but I am concerned about hurting the other woman’s feelings.  We don’t have a serious relationship and she knows it.  But I am miserable, because I feel if I advance on her friend, she’ll be devastated.  Should I care more for her feelings than I do my own?  At the moment I feel noble, but deprived.  What would you suggest?

A.  Since a man has to live with himself first before he can be of any good to anyone, I would suggest you pass on this one.  There is some information that seems to be missing.  It appears that you and your “girlfriend” do not share the same feelings about your relationship.  If you insist on pursuing this mentally, you should discontinue the relationship with the first girl and allow an appropriate amount of time to pass before you pursue the other woman.  I also think best friends of “girlfriends” should be forbidden ground.

Q.  I busted my boyfriend leaving the home of his ex-girlfriend at 5 am a month ago and I broke up with him.  He has since claimed over and over again that it was a slip up after running into her at a party and drinking too much.  I’m considering forgiving him, but I’m conflicted. What happens when someone does something really bad to violate your relationship, and you threaten to leave them and change your mind?  Can you still expect their respect?

A.  You take the chance on being restored or being disrespected.  A lot depends on how repentant the party is and forgiving you are.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.