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My best friend’s boyfriend gave me a huge cash gift for my birthday gift and I’m suspicious of his motives.

by Sarah Smart

May 20, 2018

Q.  At my birthday party last month, my best friend’s boyfriend gave me a birthday card with two hundred dollars cash, and a note in the card asking me to call him because he needed to talk to me about something. I want to return the money because I think the gift was too extravagant and I feel his motive is suspect.  I don’t want to call him, yet I don’t wish to offend him by giving the money back.  What do you think?  I believe he’s interested in me on the sly.


Whenever my boyfriend and I go out, I spend all the money because he claims not to have any.

by Sarah Smart

May 15, 2018

Q.  My boyfriend of four months cries broke all the time because of his “responsibilities.” Whenever we go out, I spend the money.  I do this, so we can be together.  I loaned him $100.00 once, and he never mentioned it again.  I didn’t say anything because I don’t want to do anything to spoil our time together.  However, last week on my birthday, he gave me a beautiful card, no gift and took me to a fast food place for dinner.  I was so hurt, I cried all night.  My friends, who don’t have boyfriends) say he doesn’t really care and I should drop him.  I just don’t want to alone again.  What do you say?     MORE

My friends and I have a hard time meeting guys who are sincere  and not heart breakers.  Any suggestions?

by Sarah Smart

May 10, 2018

Q.  In the last three months, I met two guys in a row and my best friend met three, All five were fine, intelligent and perplexing.  The guys we meet either lie about what they’re doing, scheme to keep you from finding out, or behave like imbeciles at any gesture of affection.  I want to know if you have any suggestions we can use to save ourselves from the pain and anguish that we often encounter in an attempt to cultivate a decent relationship with a guy who appeals to us?


A hot guy, with all the best qualities, has proposed to me but my gut tells me to say no.

by Sarah Smart

May 7, 2018

Q.  I decided two years ago to abstain from sex until I got married. I was tired of hot nights and lonely days.  Four months ago, I met a guy who has shown me a love that I’ve never experienced.  He is handsome, stable and kind, and he has asked me to marry him. He is also willing to do it without knowing me sexually.  The problem is that there is something about him (I suspect he has a split personality) that tells me I would be making a mistake if I married him.  For all appearances, he is everything I’d want in a husband.  But I’m leery.  Do you think I’m letting loveless past influence me or should I follow my gut?    MORE

My family thinks I’m wrong because I put my cousin out after she slept with my boyfriend.

by Sarah Smart

May 4, 2018

Q.  I recently discovered that my live-in boyfriend of five years slept with a visiting cousin at my home.  I’m more upset with my cousin than I am with my boyfriend because I believe she seduced him, and he was just being a man.  I put her out and allowed him to stay because he begged my forgiveness.  I feel she was in control of the situation and she violated me because we’re family.  My family, including my parents, are very angry with me because of what I did.  What do you think?    MORE

My friend is about to marry my ex-husband and I’m expected to attend the wedding…

by Sarah Smart

May 1, 2018

Q.  For the last two years, one of my childhood friends has been dating my ex-husband and I’ve been pretending I didn’t care.  I still do, but I haven’t told a soul.  Now, they are planning to be married and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep since I heard about it. It has disturbed me so, that I’m thinking about accepting a job out of state.  I can’t bear to see him married to her and I would be expected to be at the wedding.  What do you think?


My boyfriend bought me a lottery ticket and I won $35,000.  Now, he thinks I should split with him.  I say no..  What do you say?

by Sarah Smart

April 30, 2018

Q. I recently asked my boyfriend to buy me a lottery ticket, and I later won $35,000. I don’t wish to share any of my winnings with him, and he is very angry about it.  I feel like he’s imposing on me to even make such a request.  What do you think?     MORE

I invited a guy out for coffee after a meeting and he asked if his girlfriend could come. I ended up with both of them in my car kissing in the back seat.

by Sarah Smart

April 24, 2018

Q.  I feel like an idiot.  At a book club meeting recently, I decided to be bold and invited this very attractive guy to join me for coffee after the meeting. I’d been admiring him for awhile, and I thought I’d take a chance.  Well, it turned out that he didn’t have a car, and I offered him a ride.  However, to my dismay, when we got outside, he asked if his “girlfriend” (who was also in the meeting looking unattached) could join us. I was floored.  I couldn’t understand how I missed the link between them, but I nodded a reluctant yes.  Hence, the both of them ended up in the back seat of my car kissing all the way to the café.  MORE

I’ve been asked to marry a man who has children, but I don’t want to raise his kids.

by Sarah Smart

April 19, 2018

Q.  Against my better judgment, I am dating a guy with two children.  The problem is that I don’t like his kids.  They are spoiled and disrespectful.  He has asked me to marry him, and I suspect he’s also looking for a mother for his kids because he has custody.  I love him, but I don’t want to raise his kids.  I can’t make up my mind.  My family says I shouldn’t and my friends say I’m being selfish.  What do you say?


My boyfriend is 10 years younger and I don’t trust he’s sincere because of the age difference.

by Sarah Smart

April 17, 2018

Q.   I am currently dating a guy who is ten years younger than me, and I’m very paranoid about it. I don’t trust him, and I’m afraid to let him out of my sight.  Whenever I see him talking to a woman his age, I feel sick inside.  I really like this guy, but I’m miserable when he’s not around.  I can’t figure out why he’s with me and it’s driving me crazy.  He drives my car (BMW) and whenever he returns it, I go over it like a detective looking for evidence of another woman.  What can I do to stop being so suspicious?    MORE

My boyfriend is engaged to another woman, but he loves me.  Should I fight for him?

by Sarah Smart

April 13, 2018

Q.  I have been dating a guy for three months, who has turned out to be the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.  He claimed to be single and unattached, but I found out recently that he lives with a woman he has been engaged to for almost a year. He claims to love me and not her.   Everyone says I should leave him alone, before I end up getting hurt.  But I feel like he couldn’t love this other woman and be so attached to me.  He’s still single and engagements aren’t etched in stone.  What do you say/ Should I fight for him?     MORE

I don’t want my best friend’s boyfriend at my wedding. How can I invite her without him?

by Sarah Smart

April 8, 2018

Q:  Next month, I’m having a private wedding at my home and I only wish to have my closest friends and family.  But I have a problem.  I cannot stand my best friend’s boyfriend, because he has hit on me several times behind her back, and she can’t go anywhere without him.  He is obnoxious, vulgar and flirtatious, and I don’t want him within ten feet of my door.  I know if I tell her not to bring him, then she won’t come.  And I can’t imagine getting married without her being there.  What should I do.   MORE

I love my boyfriend, but I don’t like the way he treats me in public.

by Sarah Smart

April 4, 2018

Q.  I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as a“friend”  whenever we’re in public and I hate it.  When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend.  To him, that’s a term for teenagers.  When I suggested  he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his “style”.  (He’s an attorney, who is very image-conscious). I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.  The issue has become so bad that lately he tries to avoid introducing me at all when we’re in social settings. What would you do?


How do I get rid of unwanted advances from co-worker after telling her I’m already involved with someone?

by Sarah Smart

March 31, 2018

Q.  At work, I had been receiving all kinds of cute notes and cards from a secret admirer.  On my birthday, I received a dozen red roses and my curiosity was finally satisfied, when the sender (a fellow co-worker), came into my office and confessed that it was her.  I was disappointed because she’s not my type.  She then asked me out and I told her that I was already involved with someone.  However, she is still sending me notes as if we had no discussion.  The other day, she sent me a card with a restaurant gift certificate for two.  What should I do?  She is beginning to get on my nerves.   MORE

I am being sexually harassed by my best friend’s boyfriend, and I don’t know what to do to stop it.

by Sarah Smart

March 27, 2018

Q.  I’m being sexually harassed by my best friend’s boyfriend who flirts openly with me in her face. He hides behind his charming smile, but he makes obscene comments and gestures to me every time I’m in his presence, and constantly leaves nasty messages on my phone.  I’m stressed over this situation because he knows I won’t tell my friend, for fear of hurting her and he is taking full advantage of my loyalty.  What can I do to stop him?


I watched a friend flirt with my new date, grab his hand and slip him her business card on the sly. Should I confront her?

by Sarah Smart

March 23, 2018

Q.  I was out the other night with a new date and ran into a couple of girlfriends who are totally untrustworthy and very aggressive. Both of them flirted and gushed over the guy like he was Denzel and I saw one, when she thought I wasn’t looking, grab his hand and slip him a card, which he put in his pocket.  I thought she disrespected me and our friendship.  I’m furious at her and I want to confront her, but all my friends say I’m over-reacting.    What do you say?      MORE

I discovered accidentally that my best friend’s new boyfriend is a con man who is secretly engaged to another woman.  How can I let her know?

by Sarah Smart

March 20, 2018

Q.  What would you do if you found out that your best friend’s new boyfriend was engaged to one of your co-workers and you were through coincidence, invited to the engagement party?  Would you tell her?  My friend is so excited and thrilled over this guy, who has been suspect to me from the beginning.  My friend is 35, never married and obsessed with the ticking of her biological clock. Therefore, she is very vulnerable to guys with game.  I’m afraid to tell her because she is very paranoid and is always accusing others of being jealous of her.  What would you do?


I overheard my girlfriend telling one of her friends things about us that I consider private.

by Sarah Smart

March 16, 2018

Q.  Recently, I stopped by my girlfriend’s house unexpectedly and as I stood at the door, I overheard her telling a friend on the phone all about our relationship.  Some of the things she mentioned were very personal and private to me, and I resented her for it.  I broke up with her because I felt betrayed, but all my buddies say that I’ve overreacting to a common occurrence. Do women tell their girlfriends everything?  What do you say?     MORE

My best friend’s fiance`gave me a lift home one night and tried to rape me.  Should I tell her?

by Sarah Smart

March 13, 2018

Q.  My best friend asked her fiancé to give me a lift home from her house, and when we got to my door he tried to rape me.  I fell getting out of his car, but I was able to escape.  As I ran, he shouted threats at me, and told me that if I told anyone, he would hurt me.  I have been scared ever since.  I don’t know what to do.  It’s obvious that he’s crazy and my friend is about to marry him.  I already know that if I tell her, she won’t believe me.  What can I do?    MORE

I’m set to marry my long-time fiancee next month, but I’ve changed my mind, and I don’t know how to tell her.

by Sarah Smart

March 7, 2018

Q.   I’m set to marry next month, and I’ve changed my mind.  There is no one I can talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do.  I realize now that I’m really not in love, and I don’t want to break my fiancé’s heart.  She has waited for me a long time, but I can’t go through with the wedding.  I’ve been thinking about just not showing up at the altar because I can’t bear to tell her.  Got any suggestions?


My friend’s new boyfriend is a guy I used to date and I know him to be violent.  Should I tell her?

by Sarah Smart

March 3, 2018

Q.  I’ve got a serious problem. My close friend has been crazy in love for the past four months with a guy she talked about constantly.  She had never mentioned his full name and I didn’t ask.  Therefore, when she brought him to my birthday party recently, I was shocked to see that he was the same guy I dated four years ago.  Unfortunately, he was an experience I would never forget.  He had a split personality, where he could be charming and sweet one minute and violent the next.  The problem is, I don’t know if I should tell my friend about my former affiliation with him and his quirky personality


After a wonderful first date, I declined my date’s attempt to be invited in and I haven’t heard from him since.

by Sarah Smart

February 27, 2018

Q.  I just had the weirdest experience. I went on a second date with a prototype of Mr. Right who showed up with flowers and my favorite candy.  We had a wonderful evening at an expensive restaurant, where he stared into my eyes like he was experiencing love at first sight.  After dinner, he took me on a romantic carriage ride around the city.  When he brought me home, I declined his attempt to come in for a drink, because my place was in shambles.  He seemed disturbed by my response.  That was three weeks ago.  Since that time, I haven’t heard a word from him.  When I called him, he told me he would call me back, and never did.  Do you think I should try to contact him again?  I think I may have offended him.


After my date let me leave his home at 2 in the morning alone, I dumped him and everyone thinks I’m over-reacting. 

by Sarah Smart

February 22, 2018

Q.  Recently, I was at the home of a guy I really like who had cooked dinner for me. The evening was wonderful until the end.  It was 2:00 in the morning, and he had fallen asleep on the couch.  When I woke him to tell him I was leaving, he simply waved goodbye, without getting up and escorting me to the door or to my car.  I was angry over his behavior and expressed it the next day when he called.   MORE

I plan to attend the wedding of my ex-fiance to rattle him after he dumped me the night before our wedding.

by Sarah Smart

February 17, 2018

Q.  Six months ago, my fiancé phoned at 3:00 in the morning and called our wedding off, which was the next day, because he “wasn’t ready to be married.” Three weeks ago, I heard he was planning to marry the ex-girlfriend he dumped me for next month.  I have not heard from him since that night and I have a need to show up at the wedding for the sole purpose of watching him squirm.  He hates any form of confrontation and I know my presence there would succeed in ruining his day.  As I think about the pleasure I would receive from watching him sweat, it helps to heal the gaping hole that he left in my heart.   MORE

Should I wear an engagement ring from my boyfriend who is in the middle of a divorce?

by Sarah Smart

February 14, 2018

Q.  I have been dating a married man for the last five years, who was separated and now after years of promising to divorce his wife, he’s in the process.  My problem is that he has given me an engagement ring to wear and all my friends think I’m crazy to wear a ring from a man who’s not divorced yet.  What do you think?



just found out accidentally that my co-worker is dating my ex-husband.

by Sarah Smart

February 10, 2018

Q.  I just found out that my ex-husband is dating my co-worker and I hate going to work and encountering her.  I found out about them accidentally and I’ve been upset ever since.  I can’t stand knowing who he’s with because of the way he treated me.  I’m thinking about quitting my job so I don’t have to reminded of him.  My friends think I’m over-reacting.  What do you think?      MORE

If you caught your teenage daughter in bed with your boyfriend…what would you do?

by Sarah Smart

February 7, 2018

Q.  If you came home from work early and caught your underage teenage daughter in bed with your boyfriend, what would you do?

A.  I’d call the police and then I’d ascertain whether or not, it was consensual.  If it was consensual, I’d put her on “house arrest” for a year.  She couldn’t even go to the bathroom without permission, and I would also put her into counseling.    MORE

I just found out that the guy I’ve been dating lied about being a married man.

by Sarah Smart

February 3, 2018

Q.  I am dating a guy who told me initially that he was living with his sister. After I fell in love with him, I found out he was married.  He treats me well, but I know it’s wrong.  However, I don’t know how to get out, because I’m afraid I can’t live without him.  He treats me better than any man I’ve ever known.  How do I end this?  MORE

At a party recently, my boyfriend left me to dance with an ex-girlfriend who has harassed me in the past over him.

by Sarah Smart

January 30, 2018

Q.  My boyfriend and I had the biggest falling out at a party recently, because he left my side to dance with an ex-girlfriend who used to harass me over him.  I was so angry that I left the party.  I have not seen him since and he has been calling to say that I over-reacted and that I was being childish.  I think what he did was rude and disrespectful, and I never want to see him again.  My friends all agree with him.  What do you think?      MORE

I am secretly dating a white guy and I’m concerned about letting my friends know.

by Sarah Smart

January 25, 2018

Q.  I met a guy online who seems to be everything I was looking for, but he’s white.  I feel good that his lifestyle has been so cultivated that my race doesn’t matter. However, I’ve been secretly dating him though I’m sure my family would probably be supportive, but I’m concerned about consulting my friends, and what kind of sign would I send to my impressionable daughter?   I don’t want to send signals that black men are not important to me.  I just have not met one who comes close to having the same ideals, goals and religious beliefs that this man and I have so far.  What do you think?    MORE 

I made a serious mistake with a co-worker that I deeply regret.

by Sarah Smart

January 21, 2018

Q.  How do you get away from a crazy woman after making a serious mistake?   Two months ago, I drank too much at a party and ended up sleeping with a co-worker I was not romantically inclined toward.  Immediately, after it happened, I regretted it, because I realized she really liked me and the feeling was not mutual.  Since that time, she has been asking for a repeat evening and won’t take no for an answer.  She has accosted me at work and on the street about “playing” her, and that was not the case.   MORE 

My boyfriend refuses to introduce me as his girlfriend when we’re in public.

by Sarah Smart

January 17, 2018

Q.  I love my boyfriend, but he insists on introducing me as his friend, and I resent it.  When we argue about it, he says he’s too old. (He’s 37) to be referring to someone as his girlfriend.  To him, that’s a term for teenagers.  When I suggested that he refer to me as his woman, he said that word wasn’t his style.  (He’s a well-respected attorney who is very image-conscious). What would you do?  I feel reduced and embarrassed every time he says it and he refuses to compromise.    MORE 

My boyfriend never introduces me to his friends when we’re out at parties. Do you think he’s being rude?

by Sarah Smart

January 12, 2018

Q.  I have been dating a guy who is very attractive, smart and nice.  But he has the worst manners.  He burps out loud after he eats.  He always gets in the car first, and never opens the door for me.  He takes me to parties where all his friends are all gathered and won’t introduce me to anyone.  His behavior borders on rude, but I hesitate to say that, because I don’t think he means to be.  Is there any way I can tell him how I feel without hurting his feelings?  I really want this relationship to work, but he has no class and it’s driving me crazy..   MORE 

I have confused feelings about a woman I broke up with.  I want her, but not the relationship.

by Sarah Smart

January 7, 2018

Q.  I was dating this woman several months ago who I really liked. But we had two different agendas.  I wanted to do casual dating and she wanted monogamy and commitment.  I had just got out of a marriage and I wanted to enjoy my freedom.  When I explained this to her, she said she didn’t want a casual relationship and she was moving on.  We parted amicably, but I can’t stop thinking about her.  I saw her out the other night with another guy and I’ve been disoriented ever since.  The thing that disturbed me was that she seemed okay without me.  I want to be with her, but I don’t know how, since I can’t give her what she wants.  What should I do?    MORE 

My fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding.  Should I tell my fiance?

by Sarah Smart

January 2, 2018

Q.  I’m scheduled to get married next month and my fiance’s brother is pressuring me to sleep with him before the wedding. He says he won’t leave me alone until I do.  I am very attracted to him and confused about my own feelings.  I love my fiancé, but I’m intrigued by his brother. I don’t know what to do. Should I call the wedding off, because I feel deceitful or should I tell my fiance about his brother’s actions?  MORE 

If a guy is involved with someone else, but not married, is he still considered single and fair game?

by Sarah Smart

December 29, 2017

Q.  I am 26 years old and not dating at the moment. There is this guy I really like, who wants to date me, but he is involved with someone else. He claims he can’t break up with her, because he doesn’t want to hurt her. She’s in love, but he isn’t. My friends feel that I should go ahead and date him because he’s not married to the girl. They say there’s always the possibility that I might win him away from her. But I feel deep down that I’m setting myself up for serious problems, if I date this guy. MORE 

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