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Confessions

The Other Side

Of Lonely…

by C.J. Claire

July 11, 2018

Last year, I functioned well as a promising career woman by day and a fallen woman by night.  I was fed up with long chats on the phone with my gal pals who were as lonely as I was, and married women telling me to pray.  I needed a man, and not just any man, but one who came close to my ideal.  So, I searched everywhere I went and I worked hard to gain attention from the opposite sex.  It became a preoccupation that took total claim of my thoughts and my common sense.

For months, I was totally preoccupied with finding a man.  Last month, I met a guy who was here for the weekend, from out of state.  We wined and dined and made love on the second night.  After that, every time I talked to him on the phone was through my own initiation.  Finally, he told me bluntly that he was very busy and that he would call me the next time he was in town.  He thought I was out for fun, but I was really out for love.

Most weekends were spent waiting on the phone to ring after meeting various guys at the newest club or sports bar.  Some called.  Some didn’t.  A week later, I met a guy who treated me like a queen the first two dates and then he stopped calling abruptly after I slept with him.

After that, I began talking to a guy at work.  We flirted on the phone only. We never had a date or physical contact and it was driving me crazy.  Every time I suggested we go out, he had an excuse.  So, after I couldn’t take my loneliness any longer, I called him one night at 2:00 in the morning and invited myself over.  We became intimate and we had never been on a date.  Needless to say, there is nothing less appealing than a desperate woman, and he started using another exit at work to avoid me.

The rest of the year was spent crying hopelessly over too many encounters that didn’t work out.  I was so ashamed of my actions when my birthday rolled around again that I decided to start off  a new year with a new plan which included abstinence and self-esteem building.

It was the best decision I ever made.  I feel clean now and whole, and in total control of my body and my mind.  I have peace and a commitment to self-respect that I never had before.  I highly recommend abstaining to all singles until the real one comes along because I receive far more respect now from men than I ever did

 

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