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10 Things To Note When
You Meet Someone New
by Jovan Tahale
- Be alert! Pay close attention to all the things he/she says or does. It’s healthy and smart to be cautious and paranoid until you know him/her better. One guy was dating a woman who claimed to be single but learned on the third date, that she had an order of protection on her estranged husband, who angrily confronted them leaving a restaurant.
- Develop an “Intimacy Principle” and stick to it. Sex in these times should no longer be a frivolous act. Protection and detection should be the theme of the relationship. Sexually transmitted diseases and domestic violence acts too often occur two-three months after the initial meeting.
- Confusion. If he/she does something weird or strange more than once, don’t hang around for a closer look. Consider what you see or hear as a warning! Don’t dismiss it as unimportant or irrelevant. One woman met and dated a guy who was always whispering in his phone at weird times of the night. He claimed to work for the FBI, but he turned out to be a drug dealer.
- Investigate! Ask around and see if anyone else knows him/her. Try to get as much information as possible on your new acquaintance, before you get seriously involved.
- Don’t ignore your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. My friend’s new boyfriend offered me a ride one night from a party she was hosting, and I hesitated because it didn’t feel right. But I accepted anyway, because I needed a ride, and he ended up trying to rape me in front of my house. I got away when a police car on patrol pulled up next to his car.
- Don’t rush to bring him home. Wait until you’re sure, he’s not a madman. One friend dated a guy for five weeks who climbed through her window one night and surprised her in bed after she had broken up with him. He ran when she called the police, but it could have turned out much worse.
- Be careful of what you tell him about you. Don’t get too personal too soon. Remember, the details of your life in the wrong hands could be a serious mistake.
- Take an anxiety pill. Don’t be so anxious for this one to be the one. Take time to get to know him/her, before you get emotionally charged up. Let this encounter prove himself to be worthy of your time and affection.
- Be protective. If you have children, don’t expose strangers to your child too soon. One new boyfriend took a woman’s six-year-old child to the store and didn’t return for two days.
- Focus: Don’t be starry-eyed and quick to believe everything said or seen. Make sure your friends meet him/her and seek their opinions. They may see something you don’t.