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A 14-Step
Guide To Being
A Delightful Encounter

by Bonita Bennett

When getting to know someone, it’s sometimes difficult to find things to talk about that prove interesting to the other party.  Interesting people are usually good listeners, who respond with appropriate sounds that indicate they are attentive to what is being said.  They ask questions that reveal a sincere interest rather than a self-serving curiosity.  They rarely speak of themselves in a complimentary manner or talk incessantly about what’s going on in their lives. 

They speak earnestly about what they feel and think and convey genuine concern for the other person and what’s going on with them.  Interesting people also have the good sense to end a conversation when it is no longer stimulating or interesting.  That’s why chit-chat and gossip are such popular sports.  Most times, people have run out of things to talk about when small talk becomes entertainment.  Here’s how to make your phone buzz forever and your presence in demand.

  1. Don’t bore anyone with all the details of your day. Only mention the interesting things.
  2. Don’t use the names of other people as scapegoats for what you really feel or think. Say what you think boldly and give yourself credit for it.
  3. Tune in to the interests, likes, and dislikes of other people and share theories, stories, thoughts, and ideas as it relates to problem-solving, advice, or humor.  Everybody enjoys being around someone who’s a lot of fun.  Use your wit.
  4. Don’t be a yes person. No one is really impressed with a person who agrees with everything said.  If you have an opinion and it’s requested, state it.  If you think someone is proposing to do something dumb, tell them.  Don’t wait until it’s over and say, “I started to say something but….”  The phone of the person with guts is always ringing.
  5. Be a source of wisdom, commonsense, affection, and truth. Ironically, though it does not appear to always be appreciated, truth is a preferred ingredient in any good relationship.
  6. Show no fear in being yourself.
  7. Adopt an uninhibited spirit.
  8. Skillfully mix passiveness with assertiveness. Speak up when you need to, and cool out when necessary.
  9. Mingle well with everyone regardless of status.
  10. Do not cling to relationships. Encourage space between you and your partner.
  11. Don’t be demanding of the other person’s feelings. Remember, no one is responsible for your happiness but you.
  12. Do not push or press for affection. Allow things to flow, but keep your needs and goals in mind and act accordingly.
  13. Don’t depend upon romance for all the fun in your life. Enjoy the company of other people, and other things.
  14. Be impressionable in a positive sense. Those who have done everything and been everywhere are boring. There is sheer delight in knowing that one had exposed that special someone in their lives to something for the first time. Sharing new things with special people creates great memories.


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