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8 Ways To Be

Chosen In The Crowd

by M.K. Allison

At a packed party recently, I noticed several women sitting alone waiting for someone to notice them and give purpose to their being there.  Most stared off into space, while others complained loudly that the men in the room were backward because of their failure to approach.  I watched from a position of comfort as I stood in the midst of three guys I’d enticed into a debate about a controversial current event while trying to decide who was the most interesting.   

Those women and others like them, often lose out on an enjoyable evening because of their inability to mix and mingle assertively with the opposite sex.  They are often trapped by ego and the ancient idea that a man should seek them out in some obscure dark corner.

Unfortunately, these women keep themselves from taking advantage of the usual social situation, because of an inability to understand the basics of being noticed and engaging at a gathering designed for mingling. Those who are having fun at such gatherings seem to have a fundamental feel on how to do so.

  • A woman, who’s looking to mingle, should seldom sit at a party, unless she’s tired or involved in a conversation.  She should always be where the action is, which is usually near the bar or dance floor.
  • A woman should work just as hard at being noticed as she does on her job, if she’s at a function with the intention of making a match.  This is not usually accomplished by flash and super seductive clothing.  Distinctive is the password.  Not outlandish.   It is important to work to be distinctive and not appear to have a look that screams pick me, pick me.”   She must have a competitive look and a vivacious spirit which succeeds in being projected even while conversing with female counterparts.

Note:  Women who sit on the sidelines and let good moments pass them by are really missing the boat.  A good time should not always mean finding a potential lover.  It could also mean finding a new friend or making good contacts for future profit.   For those of you who are in on all the “right” parties and you still leave alone feeling discouraged, here are more tips on how to have big fun…

  • Wear something unique.  Don’t be a clone of everyone else.
  • Have a look that mixes flair with the classic.
  • Smile at everyone.  Don’t just smile at the men.
  • Don’t go in groups.  One girlfriend is enough to take to a party.
  • Watch your facial expressions.  Don’t sit and look bored.  If you’re bored, leave.  People who look bored are often viewed as boring.
  • Don’t expect someone to light your fire if your light is out.  Light up from the inside and shine on your own!

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