Abstaining: The Wait To Be Married

Abstaining: The Wait To Be Married

by Coco Diong

I’ve met more and more women who are abstaining from sex until they marry.  Some have been married, most had not.  But they all seem to share one common goal.  To hold their bodies sacred, until the real thing comes along and that means marriage.  Here are their stories..:

Amy, 32, Never Married ‑ “One morning after a wild night of uninhibited sex, I realized that I really wasn’t sure how my boyfriend felt about me, because there was no real evidence that he really cared.  Suddenly, I knew I was only a sex object, and though I wished it were different, in my heart, I knew it wasn’t.  I somersaulted in bed to rule out the competition.  But too many times I’d catch him in the middle of the night, whispering to other women on the phone.   So, I decided that day to reserve my body for the man who would treasure it.  I will never sleep with a man again who does not value me as a woman he truly loves.”

Marla, 29, Never Married ‑ “When my playa brother married the only woman who wouldn’t sleep with him, I knew that if I wanted to be considered special, I had to start acting special.  I used to think that sex was a part of the dating routine.  Whether I wanted to or not, it was expected, and I was always crying over a man when I was sexually active.  I realized that I never experienced true intimacy.  I’d lie there waiting to hear adoring words after sex, and he would be off to the next conquest.  After my last encounter, I decided that from now on, sex for me, will be as God intended……inside the bond of marriage.”

Sara, 42, divorced ‑ “I have been abstaining for five years, and I have never been happier. I stopped because I was tired of being a slave to my hormones, and riding on that emotional roller‑coaster where sex is the ticket.  Sex outside marriage no longer appeals to me. My older brother used to tell my sister and I when we were teenagers, that when most men are in bed and not emotionally involved, when the sex is over, they’re gone, mentally before they get up.  And I’ve found that to be true.  What’s interesting is that now I seem to be having more success with being pursued than ever before.”

Jane, 30, never married ‑ I stopped having sex when I became a born again Christian, and it’s the best decision I ever made.  It gets rid of the boy‑conquerors quick.  Only the real men hang around, and it’s mostly out of fascination!  I grew tired of hopping in and out of bed with every guy, who appeared to be my Prince in disguise.  I finally decided to heed the words of my mother.  “Why should a man buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free?  Now, sex has to have a wedding ring attached.”

Karen ‑ 34, Never Married ‑ “I started abstaining three years ago because I had an AIDS scare, when my “fiancee” turned out to be HIV positive.  I decided I wanted sex to be sacred, and that I didn’t want a man to know me intimately again until he was my husband.  I feel better now not having to worry about, who else my partner may be sleeping with.”