Single Scenarios
The “Fickle” Files
by Karen Miller
There seems to be an increase in the number of guys who are abandoning the idea of marriage after proposing to the lady of the hour. When this happens, some women let go and move on with their lives to higher ground or temporary despair, while others become creative in reeling him back in. Here are some interesting stories:
DONNA: – “When my fiancée stopped calling and became suddenly unavailable, I stopped calling him trying to understand what was wrong. Two months went by and I didn’t hear from him, but when I heard that a gossipy mutual friend was having a party, I went hoping he would be there and took a male cousin as my “date.” My fiancé didn’t show up, but as I suspected he heard about it and called the next day and asked if we could talk over dinner. When we met, he expressed that though we were engaged, he had become confused about me and his feelings for an ex-girlfriend, and he had to take a break to sort things out. He claimed that in his absence he realized that I was the only girl for him. However, I informed him that I needed time to make up my mind if I still wanted him. I told him I would call him when I had an answer for him. But I changed my mind about marrying him because I took the ex-girlfriend dilemma as a future problem. I decided I wanted to marry someone who was as madly in love as I was.”
MARIA: – “When I learned that my fiancé was seeing another woman from a reliable source, I didn’t confront him with tears and whys. I was deeply hurt, but I decided to fight for him by using a strategy. I called him and told him I was no longer happy being engaged and I wanted to break off the relationship, so I could start seeing other people. I never mentioned the other woman or his fading interest which had become apparent. He seemed to receive the news well, as if he was relieved until I told him, that I hoped my decision wouldn’t affect our “friendship.” He became hostile and an hour later he called back, apologized, and asked if we could meet to talk. When we met, his major concern was if I was already seeing someone else, but I was evasive. The next day he did something I’d always wanted him to do…he gave me an engagement ring. He claimed before that he couldn’t get me a ring because he had so many bills. I accepted his reasoning because I was just thrilled that he asked me to be his wife. Later, I learned he stopped seeing “the other woman” abruptly, as he suddenly became anxious to complete the wedding plans. Two weeks later, he insisted on us flying to Vegas to get married.”
CARLA: “When my fiancée broke off our engagement and asked for his ring back, he said that he needed a break from “a serious relationship,” and that he just wanted to feel free. I thought I would die. I couldn’t catch my breath as I handed him the ring. Later, I heard he told a friend that I had gained too much weight and he was turned off. I was hurt by his words, but I began dieting and working out six days a week and eventually lost forty pounds. Four months later, I just happened to be in the lobby of his office building at the time I knew he’d be leaving work. When he saw me, he was all over me like I was a shiny new car. He just couldn’t get over the new me. I smiled, thanked him, and scurried away as if I had another agenda. He called that same night and asked me out. When I finally met him for dinner, (I put him off for two weeks) he told me how much he missed me, and that he wanted me back. (My dad once told me that all men are stimulated by change.) When he got down on his knee in the restaurant and proposed again, I knew he still loved me, as he put the ring back on my finger to a standing ovation.”