Are Sugar Mamas
On The Rise?
by Jan Piits
Studies show that there are a substantial number of men out here who are augmenting their income and lifestyles with the financial aid of women, who are willing to pay for their company, and the trend is more prevalent than ever. Here are some examples:
Jay and Susie – Jay and Susie live together. They live in Jay’s house. Susie has hopes of marrying Jay, so she agreed to move in and help pay half the expenses. She, in her estimation is investing in the future. Jay cares for her, but he views the situation differently. He is not interested in marriage. He is mainly interested in maintaining a house that he couldn’t maintain alone on his income. Susie is a financial helpmate, who he has some feelings for, but not enough to marry. Susie feels used and taken advantage of, but there is no alternative for her. She loves him and does not want to be without him. She has resigned herself to get “love” at whatever price she has to pay.
Angie and Curt – When Angie first met Curt, he was living with his aunt and working. As the relationship progressed, she allowed him to move in with her to secure a sense of independence. Angie was 27 and Curt was 28. Curt had just moved from Alabama and Angie was his first encounter. Curt was extremely attractive and very much aware of it. His cousin in Alabama had jokingly told him that when he got to the big city, he wouldn’t have any financial problems, because if he couldn’t find work, he could always find a woman who would take care of him. However, Curt did not have an inclination for this kind of mentality. He wanted to make it on his own. He moved in with Angie, because he really liked her and her home offered more freedom and comfort than his aunt’s. Then, circumstances changed the entire picture. Curt got laid off and couldn’t find work and Angie secretly rejoiced in his dependence on her. She didn’t encourage him to find work, because she feared he would become independent and possibly leave her. She did not want him to get a taste of the big city nor did she want him exposed to the other female aspects of the city. Taking care of him financially to her was an investment in her own happiness. And the harder it got for him to find a job, the more dependent he became on Angie, and the more obligated he felt to the relationship.
Frank and Whoever – Frank has a reputation for preying on women who are willing to accept the bare minimum, just to have a man. He gives to a woman according to her financial status. He stays with her only because she does what other women cannot afford to do or are unwilling to do. He comes and goes as he pleases with little or no obligation, and he doesn’t work. He is also charming, and handsome, with an interesting viewpoint. “There is a definite shortage of ‘quality’ men in the world today. Many single women are home alone or putting up with all sorts of mental abuse, just to be with a guy. Some just want a companion, until they meet the man of their dreams. I offer that! I don’t lie to anyone and treat everyone well. Nobody loses with me. It is understood who I am and where I stand. There are no delusions in my world and few broken hearts.”
Findings: As a rule, when a woman augments a man’s income and he is not her husband, she’s prone to feel violated, if his behavior and actions are not in keeping with what she thinks it should be. Some women do what they think they have to do for the sake of a little “love” and there are a growing number of single women who are using the lure of finance to maintain a relationship. However, there is no stress in agreement. Where there is an understanding of the realities in a relationship and both people have it, there should be peace, but I wonder if this is true.