Important To You?
How important is the opinion of others to you? I used to have a friend who valued image and things more than people. She had an alcoholic brother, who had to come to her back door whenever he visited, because she was concerned about him being seen by her very upscale neighbors. Yet, she would sneak in the rear door of her neighbors’ palatial home, whenever his wife traveled out of town, regardless of what neighbors she ran into.
One former neighbor, who was a single parent, valued her relationships with men more than her relationships with her children. If her child was in a play at school on the same day she had a date, she’d go on the date. She usually allowed her “boyfriend of the moment” to discipline her children, and “correct” them, all in the name of “love.”
One friend has four safety deposit boxes, where she keeps all her valuables locked away because she fears someone may break into her home.” Yet, she will give her body away to any glib stranger with a shiny resume, for an expensive glass of wine shared in an obscure corner..
One ambitious fellow I know did all he could to be liked and accepted by the movers & shakers in his world. He contributed generously to their causes, and said yes when he should have said no to those things that affected his integrity. He avoided the company of what he referred to as “the ordinarys,” while he pursued the status of appearing well-connected. However, when he became ill and hospitalized, he bemoaned the fact that no one came to see him of “stature.”
A friend remarked once, when I was attempting to introduce him to a “good Christian woman” that finding a pretty woman was easy, and finding a smart woman wasn’t so hard, but he had the hardest time finding someone whose values matched her talking points.
It seems that few women actually feel that their needs are important enough to state out loud when they encounter a man with romantic potential. This is evident by the growing populace of women who go in into relationships with their heads in the sky, their hearts on their sleeves, and their hopes in the hands of the object of their affection. For these women, their value is determined by a man’s acceptance, approval, or rejection, and oftentimes this behavior stems from psychological injuries from childhood.
I know men, who value their cars and other possessions more than their own seeds. They have children, who cry out for their love and affection, but they don’t hear them because they are not around, and they don’t care to be. Oftentimes, this is because their fathers weren’t around or cared to be.
Values can be inherited, picked up or acquired, but it’s something all human beings should have. Some people don’t value anything, which is evident by the criminal atrocities that we see on the news every day, while others value the wrong things, and end up paying for it in the end.
What about you? What’s really important to you, and is it in sync with your actions? What would others say, if they were asked this question about you? Think about it.
Bonita Bennett, founder, publisher Of Being Single Magazine and a former TV/radio personality, is the author of the books “How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams,” and The Coming Of Dawn. She is also a nationally recognized life coach/relationship expert, and noted motivational speaker, whose life-changing counseling techniques, classes and innovative workshops on life-skills, inter-personal relationships, conflict management, and problem solving are well-known in her field. Bonita Bennett is also the editor-in-chief of Being Single Magazine. Be sure to get your copy of her two books…Meanwhile, read the excerpts from the mystery novel…The Coming Of Dawn and How To Catch & Keep The Man Of Your Dreams