Can Long Distance
By Jakub Dulak
Nobody ever said love was going to be easy. When trying to find that special someone and piece together the perfect relationship, a lot of things could threaten to get in your way. One of the most notorious of these is distance. It’s hard enough seeing your significant other get on a plane and fly out of your life on a business trip for a few weeks, but for some people, those few weeks are actually years on end. I’m referring to the brave and bold who try their hand at long-distance dating.
Many of you have been there I’m sure; meeting someone absolutely perfect on vacation or in an online environment when sparks begin to fly. Yet, there’s a feeling of helplessness, knowing this person with who you can see a path together is literally, so far away.
Recently, I sat down with Morris Orzammar, who is recently coming off of a long-distance relationship lasting over four years. We discussed the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. So, hopefully, if any of you are in a situation where long-distance is on the table, a conversation with a “professional” is exactly what could help you set your mind straight.
Morris’s relationship lasted practically his entire college tenure, and he mentioned that the biggest hurdle he faced wasn’t with the relationship itself, but with those around him. While none of Morris’s friends bashed the relationship, they did find that he would rather spend his nights in, chatting with his honey, rather than going out to parties or bars.
He says, “My friends would always give me these looks like; you’re just staying inside to look at your computer? And the big difficulty for me was making them understand that no, I’m not just on my computer, I’m on a date right now.”
When asked whether he believes that long-distance relationships are worth the trouble, Morris replied “A long-distance relationship for some people is not worth it. For an extroverted personality who actually likes to go out, it would probably not be their thing.”
He went on to say that “If you’re not going to communicate well, you’re not going to survive. And that doesn’t just mean talking to each other, you can small talk every day. But when problems come up, you have to address it and you have to address it without judgment from either side.” Then he gave a firm warning. “Do not fall into the trap of, if there is a problem, saying that everything will be ok once you’re together. If you have problems, and you come together…they’re not gonna be solved because you’re together. They’re still gonna be there and you’re still gonna work through them.”
The big takeaway came with the final, big question; Can long-distance relationships work? The answer was somehow simple but intricate.
“I would say no, but under one condition. If you start a long-distance relationship and you know you’re going to be together, I don’t mean you plan to be together. You KNOW you’re going to be together, eventually, and be able to date in person, then I think it can work.”