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Dating Data

Maybe It Didn’t
Work Because…

by Lisa Laird

Ever wondered why a relationship that started with a bang ended up down the drain.  I may have the answer for you.  Here are some of the pitfalls/red flags men and women should be aware of before stepping into one more field of dreams dotted with heart-rending landmines of our own making.  If romance is indeed the stuff of which dreams are made…what are the little things that can stop romance before it blooms?  Here are 7 things that can succeed in stopping a romance dead in its tracks:

  • Him:  When a man possesses a lack of confidence in his dealings with a woman, and it’s obvious, it can be a serious turn-off.  Every woman whether she admits it or not is endeared to a “take charge man.”  Not to be confused with a “control freak.”  Timidity in a man is a definite no-no.  Compare the man who looks deep into a woman’s eyes with a captivating smile in a deep voice that summons:  “Come here.”
  • Contrast that with “Can I kiss you?  Uggh!  If the same timidity prefaces every call with “Uhhh, are you busy?  Trust me, she’ll become busy if she’s not.  Women love guys who are comfortable in their role as the man.
  • Her:  At a social gathering, his date is so clingy and uncomfortable that she follows him around the entire time.  She looks especially nervous during his conversations with other women and fails to show any ability to mingle and be conversational with others. One sure way to end a budding relationship is to be insecure in the presence of other women. 
  • Particularly, other women, you perceive as more attractive than you.  You must learn that being more attractive than you doesn’t mean she’s evil. She’s probably miserable that she’s always hated by less attractive women.  Learn to love yourself – not solely for how you look because looks are not permanent.  Be so sure of yourself and who you are inside that people are drawn irresistibly to you.  Remain jealous, insecure, and non-trusting and you’ll regret the end of what could have been a beautiful romance.
  • Guys! We know God made you visual!  But please exercise discretion.  When you’re driving with your love in the passenger seat, control your urge to cause a near-accident as you play voyeur the way you do when you’re driving alone.  It’s a difficult request we know, but control your urge to stare down every attractive woman walking or driving down the street.  Imagine how you’d feel if the woman you’re with gets a rubberneck with every hunk that comes into view. And don’t try to fake it.  We see you out of the corner of our eyes.  It’s just one of those little “attitude prompters” that you complain about that could be avoided.
  • Girls:  Never give him everything he asks for.
  • Both:  Don’t complain constantly…about people, things around you, your job, people on your job, or the food in the restaurant.
  • Both:  For the single mom or dad.  Undisciplined, disrespectful children can place the “QUARANTINED” sign on your relationship for good!
  • Her:  In getting to know you, he shares things he’s done, places he’s gone, and things he’d like to do.  Your response, instead of supportive interest is more akin to “Really?  I’ve been there, done that, bought a tee-shirt.”  He may have been attempting to impress you, but you’ve shown there’s little he can do for you or with you that you haven’t already done.  His likely response – NEXT!

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