First Date 101:
12 Ways To Weed Out The Weird Ones.
By M.K. Allison
When my co-worker introduced me to her cousin, I was thrilled. He was attractive, charming and appeared to be just what I was looking for. We talked on the phone a few times before we agreed to meet for dinner. We had a lovely time and I was especially impressed with his gentle demeanor. After dinner, when I expressed my concern for finding a parking space when I got home, he offered to follow me home to make sure I got in OK.
When I arrived home, I found a space two blocks away but was grateful for him being there to drop me off at my place. However, when we pulled up to my door, he asked to use my bathroom, and though my instincts sounded an alarm, I consented. And as soon as we walked into my apartment, he grabbed me and attempted to rape me. However, when I grabbed a table lamp and hit him in the head, he ran out of the apartment. I swore that night that I would never ignore my instincts again.
When we go on that first date with someone who seems interesting, our hopes are usually up for a great experience that could possibly lead to something great.
Some of us have a scrutiny list of standards that potential mates have to pass, while too many encounter strangers with their “love radar” turned off. This is usually shut off subconsciously with the first flutter in our gut. Here are 12 Tips to help weed out the weird ones before they get weird.
- Pay close attention to all the things he/she says or does. It’s healthy to be paranoid until you know the person better.
- Develop an “Intimacy Principle” and stick to it. Sex in these times should no longer be a frivolous act that can happen on a first date.
- If he/she does something weird or strange once, don’t go back for a second look. Leave them be. Consider what you saw or heard as a warning!
- Investigate! Ask around and see if anyone else knows him/her. Try to get as much information as possible before you get involved emotionally and passionately.
- Never press pass your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.
- Don’t rush to bring him/her home. One friend went out on a date with a guy and they later came back to her apartment for drinks. The next day, he and a friend broke in and ransacked her apartment looking for money, while she was at work. They were caught when a neighbor heard the noise and called the police.
- Be careful of what you tell him/her about you. Don’t get too personal too soon. Remember, the details of your life in the wrong hands could be a mistake.
- Pray that the Good Lord keeps all the nuts off your doorstep and don’t open your door or your heart to strangers. Remember, appearances can be deceiving.
- Take an anxiety pill. Don’t be so anxious for this one to be the one. Take time to get to know him/her, before you get emotionally charged up or physically attached.
- If you have children, don’t expose strangers to your child too soon. (One new boyfriend took a woman’s child to the store and didn’t return for two days.)
- Don’t believe everything he/she says. Wait and observe cautiously. Pay attention to the details.
- Don’t keep him/her to yourself, when you first meet. Make sure your friends meet them, and seek their assessments. They may see something you don’t see.