by Jovan Tahale
“I will never forgive my sister because she slept with my ex-husband, while I was married to him.” This is what my friend said after we ran into her sister in a restaurant and she refused to speak to her. They had not spoken in three years.
As I write this, I can think of the various people in my life and the assortment of hurts and pains I’ve endured that could easily come up on my memory screen and become a “grudge” if I spent energy reflecting on the past. I’m just grateful I learned a long time ago to forgive and forget. However, for many, the “sin”against them is unforgivable.
Carli: “ I will never forgive my former best friend who I caught with my boyfriend in the back of his car in front of his house. I was able to forgive him, but not her. My friends think I’m crazy because I am of the opinion that she threw herself at him and he couldn’t resist the temptation. For him, it was just a lustful act. For her, it was an act of evil sprung from jealousy. I also felt the most hurt by her because I shared my innermost secrets about him with her. I can’t forgive her.”
Judith: “I told a close friend a family secret, and she ended up telling it to the member of my family who was the victim in the story. It caused untold pain, division and hardship, which came about because I put my trust in the wrong person. I will never forgive her.”
Cindy: “When my husband left me last year, I called my best friend crying, and she told me to “shut up whining” because I had pushed him away because of a hygiene problem. I was so stunned that I hung up the phone without saying a word. Her words hurt me more than my husband’s departure, and I’ll hold a grudge against her for life.“
Ivy: “A friend did something to me that I will never forgive. She woke me up in the middle night and insisted on picking me up to accompany her back to a party because she wanted to show me something important. When we got there, my fiancé was all hugged up with an ex-girlfriend in a corner. I was so angry I walked all the way home, and I never spoke to him or her again.”
What do you say? Are you still holding a grudge? Tell us about it.