How To Sidestep A Stalker…

How To Sidestep

A Stalker

by C. Mayfair

When I met Carl, I was fully paranoid about relationships with guys who displayed intense personalities from the start due to some past experiences.

However, the first time I went out with him, I was so thrown off by how fine he was, and his super long eyelashes, that I became momentarily distracted from my usual scrutiny. On the first date, he did three things that should have sent up a red flag, but I ignored each one because he spent most of the evening telling me how beautiful I was.

While we were dining at an outdoor restaurant when a male friend passed by and waved at me, he asked if he was an old boyfriend.  (This is what’s commonly viewed as a hint of the person’s jealous nature because it’s displayed before any feelings are established.)  During the evening, he asked several questions about my past relationships with other men, and if I could count the number of men I’d been intimate with on one hand.  (This implied that he was possessive, intense, and distrusting.)

On the way home, when my phone fell out of my purse, he picked it up and speculated on the number of guys I had listed in my contacts.  (This is usually a sure sign of paranoia, jealousy, and a tendency to be suspicious.) Unfortunately, as the car approached my door, I convinced myself I was flattered.  After all, it seemed very apparent that he was smitten and I rationalized that he was protecting his feelings.  Thus, I began dating him, and for a minute I discovered what being in “seventh heaven” really meant.    I had just begun envisioning him as someone with marriage potential when it happened.

One night I was on my way out with girlfriends for our monthly get-together, when he called and demanded to see me, after inquiring in a hostile tone as to my whereabouts earlier that day. When I refused to accommodate him, he began shouting and demanded that I leave my friends and meet him.

All his past actions suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I realized I was in trouble.  When I ended the relationship and cut off the call, he called back and threatened me with bodily harm.  I threatened him back and told him I had three brothers who were police officers, which was not true, but I was not about to become some passive victim.

I never saw or heard from him again.  A year later, I heard his job had transferred him out of state. My bluff worked because I convinced him that I was not alone and that the tables could be turned on him.