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4 Must Do’s

Before You

Walk The Aisle

by Sierra Silverspoon

I married my first husband after only knowing him for four weeks.  I went in blind and excited and came out wounded and scarred.   It also lasted four weeks. One of the ways to avoid marrying the wrong person is to have some pre-determined criteria of what you want and need in a relationship. In my case, I got caught up in what he was saying and not what he was doing.  Had I been a little more patient, time would have revealed his inconsistencies and I would have bailed out earlier. So, how do we prevent marrying the wrong person?  Speaking from experience and two marriages, here’s some good advice:

  • Make a list of the things you must have in a mate before you say yes. If you don’t like a man who smokes, don’t fool yourself into thinking it won’t bother you later on just because he’s cute or has an attractive job.  If he doesn’t have good manners and good manners are important to you, don’t overlook it.  If he doesn’t make enough money or making money affects the time he has for you, don’t overlook it.


  • Don’t ignore the warning signs. If he curses you and calls you names early in the relationship, nine out of ten times you’re not the first one he’s done it to.  Remember, it’s hard to teach an old dog… new tricks.  If he’s lying to you and you know he’s a liar, don’t expect him to change just because he met you.


  • Love yourself first. Loving Yourself is the first law of nature.  However, women often seem to look for love in all the wrong places.  Before we can really love or be loved by someone else, we must love ourselves.  We must look on the inside for love before we look on the outside.  When we love ourselves unconditionally, we are less apt to let others misuse or abuse us.


  • Don’t get sex mixed up with love. Just because you have good sex with a partner doesn’t mean you’re a compatible marriage partner. There’s more to a good relationship than sex.  Sex can be blinding even to a mature and experienced person if you’re not paying attention.  Good sex is a plus in a relationship, but not the only sign of compatibility.  Having other things in common is equally important such as similar hobbies, interests, and friends.  You don’t want to just have good sex and then wonder “Where do we go from here?”




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