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A 6-Step Guide To
Being Sought After …

by Bonita Bennett

If you wish to be in love or the better half of a relationship you need to understand your irresistible factor.  Do you have what it takes to get what you want?  Try this quick exercise and find out.  Ask yourself these questions, and write the answer down for review later.

1.  Do you have a passion for anything outside of romance? (passion – a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept

2.  Is your conversation stimulating (funny, provocative, inspiring) interesting (informative), or boring (all about you)?

3. Do you bring laughter to a room?

4. Are you inhibited? (not free to be yourself or speak your true thoughts or feelings?)

5. Rate your “wittiness factor” (Do you have the inclination to sometimes be clever?

6. Do you truly like your overall appearance and enjoy who you are?

7. Are you carefree and forgiving?  (Do you still cling to every hurt or offense that has ever violated your peace or do you exhibit not a care or worry in the world?

8. Are you spontaneous? (Do you operate according to previous plans or are you prone to move towards fun at a moment’s notice?)

9. Rate Your “Magnet Factor” on a scale of 1-10.   (Is the opposite sex drawn to you easily?)  Do you get a lot of attention?

10. What is your usual position in relationships? Write down the appropriate words.  Are you cool, jealous, insecure, suspicious, intense, accusing, doubtful of your appeal, confident, flexible, fearful of failure, or emotionally hyper? (quick to get involved before conditions dictate) confused. 


  1. If you answered yes, you get 10 points.
  2. If you circled the first two words, give yourself 20 points – one word gets 10 points.
  3. If you rated yourself below seven, you get 0 points.
  4. If you answered no, give yourself 10 points.
  5. If you rated yourself below seven, you get 0 points. Seven or above, you get 20 points.
  6. If you answered no, you get 0 points. Your like of self has a great influence on how others will feel about you.  If you answered yes, you get 50 points.
  7. If you answered no, you get 0 points. If you answered yes, you get 50 points.
  8. If you answered yes, you get 20 points.
  9. If your answer is no, you get 0 points, begin reading the 6 steps below immediately. If your magnet factor is 8 or more, give yourself 20 points.
  10. If you circled the words, cool, confident, and flexible, give yourself 60 points.

If you got 200 points or more, you are already delightful.

 6 Ways To Be A Delightful Presence…

  1. Have a good physical presentation that you feel confident about. Accept yourself and others will fall in step.  Let your confidence shine through and therefore cloud the vision of your flaws.
  2. Have a passion or high interest in something other than the smile of your romantic interest, and it will lend to a healthy attitude in a relationship. You won’t be clingy, expectant, and “wired” to the phone. Your life will reflect a balance and thereby enhance your chances of being more interesting.
  3. Your laugh (the sound) and the ability to laugh easily and much, along with the capacity to make others laugh, is an important part of your sex appeal. If you’re stiff, loosen up, relax, and look for the humor in life.
  4. Fear of acceptance and scrutiny by others will make one inhibited. People who are uninhibited are free to be themselves in expression, deed, and style.  They are also rare birds, who stand out because of their power to forego the opinions of the world for inner peace.  In the presence of an uninhibited person, one can be easily captivated by the unpredictability of an unleashed spirit, if sensitivity runs at the forefront of one’s words and actions.
  5. To be witty is a fascinating aspect of one’s personality if one possesses the ability to “shoot from the hip” in humor, and create uniqueness in the expression of one’s words. I find that confidence and wittiness usually go hand in hand because there’s usually some form of bravery that goes along with clever expression.
  6. Your “position ” in a relationship should be relaxed, interested, secure, inflexible on principles, straightforward, confident, focused, adventure-oriented, emotionally reserved, watchful, and cavalier.  Be clear that these postures add an exciting dimension to any relationship, and thereby makes it difficult for someone to abstain from your company.


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