How To Spot A “Lemon Lover”

How To Spot

A “Lemon Lover”

by M.K. Allison

As most of us know, there are many signs and signals along the relationship route that scream at us that life with this person can and will get “crazy.” You don’t have to be a Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the warning signals that flash before your eyes, but you do have to keep your head in gear, though your heart may be racing full steam ahead.   A friend always refers to those who didn’t work out as “lemon lovers,” and in my circle, it has become a catchphrase.

A “lemon lover” is someone whom you hoped had potential, and the results were disappointing.  The theory is that most mismatches are pretty visible from the beginning, but everything hinges on how blinded you are by your need for romance.   The following are examples…

Lisa: “My new boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes off my younger sister when she walked into the room. In fact, he became so engrossed in her and what she was saying, it was as if everyone else in the room had disappeared. When she left the room, he spent five minutes quizzing me about her and her love life. When he left, I blocked his number on my phone and cut all ties to the memory of him. Thank goodness, we hadn’t been dating long enough for me to be emotionally attached.”

Carole:  “After going on three dates with this one guy, I discovered he wasn’t a gentleman.  Though he was absolutely beautiful to look at, and I hadn’t met anyone so interesting in a while, I knew he wasn’t the one for me.  He didn’t hold doors, and he didn’t introduce me to anyone when we encountered others he knew.  I refused to go out with him again after he drove off one night after letting me out in front of my home without even waiting for me to get in the door.”

Natalie:  “After a month of dating this fabulous guy, he hit me up for a “temporary” loan of $400.00 with some elaborate story about his bank messing up his account.  The sure sign of a jerk is when he asks for money for any reason.  I told him bluntly that I don’t loan money, and I didn’t respect men who borrow.  I haven’t heard from him since. ”    

Rick:  “After several strikeouts with some real ditzos, I thought I had finally met a woman with some real potential.  We had been dating a few weeks and she had it going on until one night we were at a crowded club, and she left to go to the ladies’ room.  When she finally returned to the table, she was giggling as she described all the attention she got from the men she passed by. It was obvious she enjoyed the attention, but it was really dumb to tell me.  I took her home that night, and never called her again.  I ain’t interested in no woman who eats up attention from other men.”

The thing about “lemon lovers” is that the sour aspects of a person’s personality will always eventually come out, but for far too many, it doesn’t become apparent until after feelings and time has been invested. One of the problems is that when we like someone, we either make excuses for their behavior or hope that the flashing red sign that reads, “This ain’t the one,” is being unfair to a one-time act.  But those signs are usually very indicative of what you’re in for over the long haul, regardless of how beautiful he/she smiles.