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Real Men – Real Talk

How To Tell She’s Not The One

by John Trapien

Recently, I took a beautiful woman on a first date to a friend’s birthday party at a restaurant, and every one of my male friends came over and made some admiring comment, either to her or me about how fine she was.  I was flattered, but by the end of the date, I knew I’d never call her again.  Why?  I didn’t like her style.  She was snooty, phony and condescending.  My friends were guys I grew up with, whose blue-collar occupations were in plain view. She was an attorney with the social skills of a flea. She had the air of an elitist and she couldn’t wait to get out of there.

This is just one example of how beauty can fail its owner based on a guy’s tastes and style. I prefer a woman whose good looks compliment an easy personality, which allows her to fit comfortably in whatever setting she’s in.  I think the average single guy has a basic idea of what he wants in a woman, but he’s usually more certain of what he doesn’t want.  Unfortunately, many women believe that for most men it’s is all about the beauty and the booty, but it’s not so.  A woman’s physical appearance does play a great role in the selection process, but it has little effect when the other components are not in place.  Here are more male voices on the subject…

Tom – “The woman I end up with cannot have a stick personality. She has to stimulate me mentally to the point where I find her interesting and I actually enjoy talking to her.  For me, the intrigue factor plays a major role in keeping me interested.  If I can figure her  all out in a couple of weeks, we’re usually done.”

Jon – “I think most guys are looking for a woman who feels familiar (comfortable), but whose frame of reference may be different from ours on a higher plane. I’m more attracted to a woman who does not try to blend herself into being what she thinks I want.  I appreciate a woman who is super confident, but on a level that compliments who I am.” 

Philip – “I shy away from women who have subtle demands and expectations before the dessert is served on the second date or who allow their “hunger pangs” to show.  One woman offered me sex on the first date after I expressed at the end of the date that there was a lack of chemistry between us.  She went on to tell me that if I “experienced her,” I would feel different about her.  I had said that because she kept insisting to know when I was going to call her again.”

Gene – “I’m looking to meet someone who can relate to who I am and where I am, and connect with me on a spiritual plane.  When a man thinks about a soul-mate, he is most likely seeking a sense of purity, strength, and reliability in someone who can make him better.”

Carl – “For the brother who is seriously seeking a soul mate, chemistry, appeal, and personal values must combine with the excitement factor for his interest to remain constant.  The excitement factor is usually stimulated by conversation, smarts, personality, sense of humor and of course, sex appeal.  However, this is not an easy package to find.”

Mitch – “Finding the one who has most of what a guy is looking for can be a tedious journey, which is why sometimes our actions may seem confusing to the women we encounter.  But what it boils down to, is that most of us are in search of that “rainbow relationship” and some of us are willing to make as many “stops” as needed to find it.”

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