Men: The Marrying Type
by Nancy Carelle
Despite the rising divorce statistics and the scattered mores of the day, there seems to still be hope for those who have not yet landed that special someone with potential for the “M” word. Believe it or not, there are some highly desirable brothers out here looking for a wife or really enjoying marriage. After engaging in endless conversations with unhappy wives and bitter ex’s, I went in search of guys who were happy…in love and married. I also interviewed some divorced men who are seeking to do “it” again. These men shed some new light on the state of matrimony from the male perspective.
Ray – 32 – “Marriage gives me the opportunity to build something with someone who’s very special while looking forward to being a parent. Marriage is a daily challenge and I see it as such, but I enjoy rising to the occasion, for it’s worth it to me. At the end of the wedding ceremony, we are told that we are now as one. But the oneness comes about after time has been spent and experiences shared. When I married, the timing was right for me. I was tired of the rigors of bachelorhood…the late-night partying, money blown on foolishness…and the array of willing women to play with. I wanted a specific someone to love and share my life with.”
Mel – 36 – “Even though I’ve been divorced for a while, I’d marry again if I met the right woman. I used to care about finding a woman who could play tennis and jog and do all those sporting things I like and one day I realized that I could be passing Ms. Right up looking for the wrong things. I realized that it was more important to find someone with a genuine interest in sharing my life, who could always be taught to share the activities. After divorce or a serious breakup, women as men go through emotional turmoil, but a woman seems to recover faster, because she turns inward and shuts herself off from the world until she’s healed mentally. Men on the other hand, do differently…we grow beards, grab new toys, like a new sports car or radar detectors. But toys wear off and we’re forced to face the emotional challenge head on. But soon we realize that we have some changing to do, before we step off again.”
Carl – 40 – “After watching all my friends marry and divorce within months of each other, I was determined to learn from their mistakes. I took mini-polls and found that the biggest threat to marriage is boredom. And I was determined to wait until I felt satisfied with the glamour side of single life, before I married and I did. I got all of my curiosities out of the way, so that I would be committed to marriage, once I did it. I always wanted to be a father and a good one as well as be a good provider for my family. I am a driven person and I’m driven because of my wife and my two boys. I married at 30 and in my ten years of marriage, I have never slept with another woman. My appetite hasn’t changed…I just go home to eat.”
Charles – 34 – “I enjoy having someone to laugh and cry with in the good times and the bad. Someone who’s really in my corner and committed. Marriage separates the men from the boys. It’s a great responsibility for a man as well as a great challenge, but real men see marriage as a meaningful way of life. A good marriage is a major accomplishment. I find that marriage stabilizes me and gives me direction with goals. Marriage motivates me to build something for my family, particularly with a wife like mine, who knows the difference between nudging and nagging.”