Point Of View: The Ugly Side To Casual Dating

On our very first date, the very handsome guy sitting across from me in the dimly lit bar candidly expressed “his truth.”  He was already dating two women, but he enjoyed making “new friends.” I was disappointed because I had high hopes for this encounter.  I smiled and told him I had enough friends and wished him well.  As I stood to leave, I felt strong and powerful.

Women with high self-esteem usually do not share their men.  Who then is willing?  According to studies, women who share their men are not necessarily willing but often feel they have little or no choice if they don’t wish to be alone.  Or…they personally feel they have what it takes to swing Joe or Johnny over to where they rule?  An interesting side to this scenario is that more and more men are being honest about their multiple involvements, therefore, giving prospective playmates the option in advance of refusing to participate. 

The irony is that many women when given this information opt to participate anyway under the deceptive banner of “we can still be friends.” While the women who choose to move on after receipt of the same information, somehow get pursued harder.  Ironically, “Mr. Truth Teller” ended up calling me relentlessly to change my mind with promises to change his lifestyle.

What about the guy who has lunch with one woman and dinner with another?  Is he happy?  No.  The experts say, “This guy is having fun, but it is a fleeting thrill.  Most times, he’s lonely because his heart does not belong to any one person.  He finds it hard to be true to anyone because he is seldom true to himself.  With the man who seems to thrive on variety, there appears to be a psychological anchor that pulls on him and convinces him that few men can be content with one woman, particularly if he is inspired by sexual attraction.”

The man who seeks to taste the fruit of every tree he passes often lives with an emptiness that is camouflaged by his many involvements.  A mature man knows there is no substitute for the bond between two people who completely satisfy the needs of the other.  But the woman who agrees to share the affections of a man bids a high price for maximum aggravation and can expect a yield of minimum pleasure.