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From The Locker Room

The Things People Say …

  • “I have never been in a relationship where a guy gave equal to what I gave, and to get more seemed out of the question. Now, my attitude is different.  For me, it is either a better deal or no deal.  I’ll walk alone until I find the real Mr. Right!”
  • “My cousin is announcing her engagement to my ex-boyfriend tomorrow and my mother expects me to attend the party for the sake of family unity.” 
  • “I married four different guys before the age of 35 because I didn’t like living alone. I’ve since come to the conclusion that it’s less of a headache if I just get a roommate.”
  • “Don’t tell me guys don’t love on the same emotional level as women. When my college girlfriend got pregnant by another guy, who turned his back on her, I told her I would marry her.  I changed my mind after talking to my dad, who said I’d would be an idiot to do so.  “You don’t have her heart man, and when that’s the case, she’ll cheat again.”
  • When I accidentally ran into my boyfriend coming out of the show with his ex-girlfriend, I simply winked at him and kept walking, though I almost passed out in anger. He ended up leaving her standing on the sidewalk while he chased after me.  The following weekend he was on my doorstep with a huge engagement ring and a proposal for marriage!  The funny thing is that he was never interested in marriage before. Of course, I said no.”
  • “I got arrested last weekend and had to post bail after I broke out all the front windows of my boyfriend’s home after I loaned him my car and he let his ex-wife drive it.”
  • “Ironically, my fiancée, who has always operated outside the box, proposed to me on the same night I planned to propose to her. We ended up exchanging rings.  The difference was that I gave her a diamond ring and she gave me a wooden African band.”
  • I was out on a first date once with a guy who stole my wallet out of my purse, when I left to go to the ladies’ room. I didn’t miss it, however until I got home.”
  • “My boyfriend broke up with me after he saw me getting out of an ex-boyfriend’s car.  The next day, he sent me a funeral wreath with a card that read, “Our relationship is dead.”
  • “By the time my brother got married, he had broken so many hearts he had to have security at his wedding.”

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