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by Sarah Smart

Q. I accidentally overheard my best friend telling another one of her girlfriends about how dumb I was in relationships, and how I gave my boyfriend a birthday gift after he hadn’t given me one.  I had confided in her, and I was very hurt by her betrayal.  The problem is that I’m scheduled to be a bridesmaid for her in March, and I’m no longer interested in her friendship or being in her wedding.  But I feel guilty about leaving her high and dry.  What would you do?

A. I hardly see her having one less bridesmaid as leaving her high and dry. I agree with your decision.  Why should you feel guilty about disappointing someone who betrayed your friendship?  Tell her and be free.

Q. I loaned my best friend three hundred dollars, which she agreed to pay back in two weeks.  Two weeks passed, and when she didn’t mention it, I did.  She confessed that she didn’t have it, because she had borrowed it for her boyfriend, and he had promised to pay her back in two weeks and had not.  I am furious because I feel deceived.  I want to ask her boyfriend for my money, but I don’t want to embarrass her.  What would you do?

A. I would hold her accountable and her only.  You loaned the money to her…not her boyfriend.  What she did with the money is irrelevant.  It is her responsibility to pay you back.  I just hope she’s off your loan list.

Q.   I have been dating a guy for five months who, up to a week ago, has always behaved like a gentleman.  We had a date scheduled recently, and when he showed up, he was very upset because he had been fired that day.  The evening didn’t go well because he grumbled and complained all through dinner.  When the check came, I offered to pay for the meal, and he became angry and said he wasn’t a charity case.  He stormed out of the restaurant, leaving me stranded.  I was angry, but when he called the next day and apologized, I forgave him.  But I don’t want to go out with him again.  My friends believe I’m being insensitive.  What do you think?

A.   I think you saw what he did as an indication of a behavioral flaw that you don’t wish to deal with and I don’t blame you.  I would have acted in a similar fashion.  To be upset is one thing.  His behavior was inexcusable.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.

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