If a guy is involved with someone else, but not married, is he still considered single and fair game?
by Sarah Smart
December 28, 2017
Q. I am 26 years old and not dating at the moment. There is this guy I really like, who wants to date me, but he is involved with someone else. He claims he can’t break up with her, because he doesn’t want to hurt her. She’s in love, but he isn’t. My friends feel that I should go ahead and date him because he’s not married to the girl. They say there’s always the possibility that I might win him away from her. But I feel deep down that I’m setting myself up for serious problems, if I date this guy. My sister told me last night that all’s fair in love and war. But I want a boyfriend who belongs to me. I don’t want to share a guy with someone else. What do you think?
A. I think you’re smart as smart can be. Don’t listen to anything, but your common sense. No self-respecting woman will share a man knowingly if she doesn’t want to. If you get involved with this guy, you are inviting heartache into your household. If he means well, he’ll come to you after he’s ended the other relationship. Hold out and keep looking for what you want.
Q. My best friend’s wife leaned on my shoulder for years while she went through mental and physical abuse in their marriage. We met her at the same time when we were both in college and we both fell for her, but she chose him. Now, they are divorced and I have grown to love her over the years. She has two children and it is my desire to take care of her and the children. But I’m afraid to move to change our relationship. I don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I do want to ask her out with the intention of romance. A close friend advises me that it would be a violation of my friendship with her ex-husband. But I don’t care. I lost respect for him a long time ago. He also said he felt it was degrading to approach her with my feelings since she chose him over me in the first place. What do you think?
A. I think that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Tell her how you feel, but don’t expect anything…just hope. I don’t agree with your friend regarding her choice of the past. Feelings change overnight and it is very possible that after leaning on your shoulder for so long that she might be willing to lie in your arms as your wife. Your friend had his chance and he blew it. Fate may have given you a second chance. Go for it.
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