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by Sarah Smart

Q.  When my boyfriend proposed to me in a dimly lit restaurant, I was thrilled beyond words.  However, when we arrived home and I took a good look at my engagement ring, I was shocked.  The “diamond” turned out to be a fake diamond, which he explained was just a symbol of his intention.  He claimed that it wasn’t smart to spend all that money on a ring when it could be used as a down payment on a house.  Thus, I gave him back his ring and ended the relationship.  I knew that with him, money would be a battle between us and I wanted no part of it.  He has always been a tightwad, but this was the worst. My family has been very critical of my decision because he’s a good guy.  Do you think I was wrong?

A.  I don’t have enough information to judge your decision. However, it doesn’t seem that your heart and your feelings for this guy played a major part in your decision. It sounds like you need to consider if you really love him, and if you do, tell him you want a real diamond.  Then sit down and have a real discussion about money and his relationship to it, and see where it goes.  See if you can reach a compromise between thrifty and cheap.

Q.   I went out with a guy who lives in my building.  It was spontaneous after a few flirtatious encounters on the elevator, and I had the absolute best time I’ve ever had on a date.  We went skating, (I had never been) had dinner in a cozy restaurant, and drinks at a champagne bar.  We laughed all night long, and at the end of the evening, he walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight.  The strange thing is that I never heard from him again, and that was five months ago.  Since that time, whenever I run into him, he acts like he doesn’t see me.  I’m perplexed by the whole thing, and I want to confront him about it.  I just need to know what I did that turned him off.  What would you do?

A.   What good would it do to confront him?  There’s absolutely no guarantee you’ll get the truth.  I would let it go.  Who cares what happened.  Obviously, it wasn’t a match.  Get over it!  Count it as one of the mysteries of life and tell your ego to cool out. 

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.

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