The Singles Scene – 8-17-22

The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q:   I discovered by accident that my future brother-in-law, (my sister’s fiancé) whom I’ve never trusted, is secretly involved (very much) with an ex-girlfriend and has a child with her.  He told my sister that he had no children.  When I confronted him about what I learned, he denied it and became angry.  That was three weeks ago, and my sister hasn’t heard from him since.  They are scheduled to be married next month and she spends her days and nights crying and asking why he deserted her.  I feel so guilty, but I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth.  What would you do?

A.  I’d tell her, and take her out of her misery.  Once she finds out why he suddenly disappeared, her tears will eventually dry up.  But you’re doing her an injustice by not being forthcoming with the truth.  She probably has more strength than you imagine.

Q.  What do you do when you find yourself in love with your best friend? We’ve been friends since college, and I recently realized that I’m in love with him.  Should I tell him, and see how he feels, or should I keep my secret to myself?  I don’t think I could take knowing that the feeling is not mutual, especially when there’s no indication that he feels the same way.  I am also afraid of damaging the friendship.

A.  Then don’t tell him. If you have never seen anything that could possibly read as mutual affection, and you’re concerned about your feelings getting hurt, then forget it.  But if you can muster up some courage, and adopt a positive attitude like, if he feels the same way, it’s a bonus, and if he doesn’t, I’ve still got a friend, then you can’t go wrong.  But I would be subtle in my approach.  Give him a door of opportunity to change the relationship, and see if he walks through it.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.