by Sarah Smart
Q. I walked into a party the other night and saw my brother’s soon to be bride sitting in the lap of another man and the embrace was most definitely intimate. She was obviously inebriated and they were kissing passionately in front of everyone. I took a picture of them with my phone and left before she saw me. They are to be married next month and I’m debating if I should tell my brother about the incident. I’ve always been suspicious of her and her motives because my brother is well-fixed financially. Friends and family (that I’ve told) all say I should stay out of it and that he’ll find out sooner or later on his own. What do you think?
A. I think you should tell your brother. He deserves to know. It may have been in divine order for you to walk upon her. It sounds like your brother could be walking the aisle with Ms. Wrong. If you saw him falling, you’d try to catch him. Here’s your opportunity to try and break his fall.
Q. My best friend’s wife leaned on me for years while she went through mental and physical abuse in their marriage. We met her at the same time in college and we both fell for her, but she chose him. Now, they’re divorced and I have grown to love her. She has two small children and it’s my desire to marry her and take care of her and the children. But I’m afraid to move to change our relationship. A close friend advises me that it would be a violation of my friendship with her ex-husband. But I don’t care about him. I lost respect for him a long time ago. He also said he felt it was degrading to approach her with my feelings since she chose him over me in the first place. What do you think?
A. I think you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Tell her how you feel, but don’t expect anything, just hope. I don’t agree with your friend regarding her choice of the past. Feelings change overnight and it’s very possible that after leaning on you for so long that she might be willing to lay in your arms as your wife. Your friend had his chance and he blew it. Fate may have given you a second chance. Go for it.
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