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SingleScenes

by Sarah Smart

Q.  My best friend has been crazy in love for the past four months with a guy she talks about constantly.  She had never mentioned his full name and I didn’t ask.  Therefore, when she brought him to my birthday party recently, I was shocked to see that he was the same guy I dated four years ago.  Unfortunately, he was an experience I would never forget.  He had a split personality, where he could be charming and kind one minute and violent the next.  The problem is, I don’t know if I should tell my friend about my former affiliation with him and that I called the police after he slapped me in a fit of anger.  I feel deceitful for not telling her and it may affect our friendship.  When we were introduced, we both pretended we didn’t know each other.  What would you do?

A.  I would tell her. I think she would want to know, and it’s up to her what she does with the information. She might not want to follow in your footsteps or she may not care. 

Q.  I recently accepted an engagement ring from my boyfriend of three years, but I’m in love with his best friend. The best friend and I “slipped up” once.  But since then, he won’t even look at me.  I’m confused about my feelings though I know there’s no chance to be with his friend. I want to be married, and I’m afraid to blow this opportunity to be with a good man who is financially successful.  But I don’t love him, and all my friends are advising me to marry now and fall in love later.  What do you say?

A.  I say gather up some integrity and do the right thing.  Let that fiancé of yours off the hook of deceit and return his engagement ring immediately.  With marriage, it’s usually the other way around.  You fall in love and then get married unless you live in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.

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