The Singles Scene – 9-18-22

The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q.  I’m engaged to a guy who is still very friendly with his ex-wife, because they have kids together, and I’ve been pretending that it doesn’t bother me, but it does.  I also don’t like the way she coos at him or acts at family gatherings.  She is still close to his family, and she’s all over them as if I’m not there.  I feel like an outsider, and I haven’t even married him yet.  I want to feel like the star in my man’s life, and right now I feel like second fiddle to his ex-wife and his kids.  Do you think I’m being selfish?

A.  No.  I think you’re dealing with your comfort level and that’s your right. You need to express your discomfort with your fiancé` and express your frustration   If you feel overshadowed now by your husband’s ex-wife and kids, I’m sure it will get worse if you marry.  It doesn’t sound like you’re making the best match for you.  I think you should either reconsider your engagement or your feelings about his ex-wife.

Q.  I am dating a guy who recently lost his job, and he is forever broke.  He is now hinting that he may have to give up his apartment if he doesn’t find another job soon, and I know he is hoping to move in with me.  The problem is that I’m ready to book, but I don’t want to dump him while he’s down on his luck.  He was never the greatest boyfriend in the world, to begin with, and it’s hard to have a lot of sympathy for him now that he’s lost his independent status.  What would you do?

A.  Be honest.  Tell him the truth.  I would tell him candidly that I feel it’s time to move in another direction, because I no longer feel the same, but that I would still be available to him as a friend.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.