SingleScenes – 1-9-25

SingleScenes

by Sarah Smart

Q.   My boyfriend proposed four months ago and we set the wedding date for October.  We were so happy until two weeks ago when I ran into him in a club dancing with an ex-girlfriend.  After an angry confrontation, he confessed that he still loved her and he called our wedding off. A week later, he came back begging and apologizing, saying he realized the only woman he loved was me, and asked me to forgive him and to go through with the wedding.  I’m confused as to what to do.  I have never felt so hurt in my life, but there’s a part of me that says what he did is a warning of what’s to come if I marry him, and another part says love only comes once in a lifetime and I should take advantage of this opportunity..  What do you say?

A.  I say you should thank your lucky stars or whoever you thank for allowing you to see in advance what a mistake you’d be making.  This guy is obviously the one who is confused.  When you marry, you want to feel certain that you are marrying someone who really loves you and knows it.  The only way you can know is if he knows and it doesn’t appear that he is in possession of this knowledge.   I say, follow the part of you that is apprehensive and save yourself some grief.

Q.  Two years ago, I met the perfect man.  He was good-looking, fun to be with, successful, and loving.  Then suddenly after three months, he dumped me without any explanation.  I was devastated and experienced a hurt unimaginable.  It took me a year to get over the relationship.   I am now involved with a great guy, who until three weeks ago, I had imagined as my husband-to-be.  Then I ran into “Mr. Perfect” by accident in the store and everything I felt came flooding back.  He told me he realized how badly he’d treated me, but that he ran because he had fallen in love.  Now I’m miserable because I can’t stop thinking about him and me long to be with him.  My problem is that I don’t want to hurt the man who is currently in my life, but I’m desperate to be with my ex again.

A.     You have a problem and your problem is not only your revived feeling for the one who treated you cruelly, but you need to re-evaluate your feelings for your current beau.  If your tower of love can be shaken so easily, you need to review that relationship anyhow.   Secondly, remember you “ran into” Mr. Perfect.  He didn’t come looking for you to express that endearing sentiment.  He could be one of those guys who suffer from temporary boredom.    He certainly doesn’t sound like someone you should entrust your feelings to again.  You need to spend some time alone and let your “desires” go on holiday and treat your common sense to lunch and a quick walk in the park.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.