Single’Sentials: 13 Ways To Maintain Real Friendships.

Single’Sentials:

13 Ways To

Maintain Real

Friendships

by Sue Fox

Good friendships are the result of caring and hard work.  Friendships are constantly changing and evolving, and good friends continually refine and renew the ties that connect them.  I’ve learned that there are three prongs to maintaining friendships:

• When good fortune smiles on your friends, you help them celebrate.
• When bad news comes their way, you comfort them.
• When a special need arises, you do your best to help.
• DO respect your friend’s and neighbors’ private lives.  Don’t show up on someone’s doorstep without calling first (unless, of course, it’s an emergency).
• DO use tact, the quick awareness of the feelings of others.  Be thoughtful about the remarks you make.  An offhand remark such as, “ you look like you’re gaining weight,” can cause hurt feelings.
• DON’T make negative statements about a friend’s spouse, children, relatives, pets, decorating or age.
• DO be sincere.  You can be honest without being hurtful or telling people only what you think they want to hear.
• DO keep track of birthdays and anniversaries and remember to send cards.
• DO write or call with thank-yous for the kindnesses you receive.
• DON’T overburden your friends with constant complaining about your problems.  Pay attention to signs that your complaints are dragging them down.  If friends begin to avoid you, take it as a sign to lighten up.
• DON’T take your friends for granted.  Having a casual, easy-going relationship doesn’t mean taking advantage of someone’s kindness or asking favors of their contacts or friends.
• DON’T borrow money from friends.  They are not your bankers.  Many good friendships have been ruined by disputes about money.
• DO cultivate your listening skills.  Even if you don’t always hear perfectly, it’s important to “listen.”  Listening begins with being interested in the thoughts and words of your friend. 

Excepted from the book, Etiquette For Dummies