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A Quick Guide To
Smart Mate Hunting

by Liz H. Kelly

ARE YOU READY to proactively search for Mr. Right?  Are you open to trying new man-hunting strategies by just thinking outside your Home Box?  Are you prepared to make changes that can fill your life with more happiness? Then keep reading…

Throw Out Your Old Approach to Dating – In order to find Mr. Right, you will need to give some serious thought to how you’ve always approached dating in the past and start thinking about new dating options outside your comfort zone or Home Box.  Why?  Because staying in your Home Box is why you are currently single.  Finding the right mate is a numbers game.  Once you define what you want, the more men you meet, the likelier it is that one will “hit.”

 Have you always thought that Fate will bring you your mate?  Do you go about your life thinking that “the one” will just cross your path?  This strategy could be the reason why all your dates or relationships turn out to be with Mr. Wrong.  This dating strategy is called “dating by serendipity” and is equivalent to having no strategy at all.

 One 34-year old marketing consultant, who met his mate at a car wash asked me, “What’s wrong with meeting someone through osmosis?”  Nothing’s wrong with it.  It can happen-it just doesn’t happen very often.  Your mate may be at the car wash, but Mr. Wrong and a few lunatics might be there too.  Men are likelier to meet women through serendipity because it’s a riskier strategy for women.  We’re less likely to be open to meeting people in this manner since it’s our interest to keep our guard up.  For all you readers out there who have met dates “on the street,” congratulations.  For everyone else still seeking a high-quality mate, there are alternative winning search strategies and tips for increasing your chances of serendipity for you here-so keep reading.

Get Out Of Your Home Box – Your Home Box refers to all your regular activities and relationships, including your work, your friends, your family, and all your day-to-day activities.  It’s where you live your life and feel more comfortable.  It’s also where you’re not meeting any new men.  Why?  That’s just the way it is.  It could be that you’ve already dated the available men in your Home Box.  Or you may have exhausted the supply of people your friends and family know to set you up with that is, if you’ve even let yourself become open to this.  More on that later.  We all love to stay within the comfort and security of the Home Box.  But if you’re going to be a SMART Man Hunter, you have to move out from your home territory into new hunting grounds.

Overcome Your Old—Fashioned Ideas About Dating – Here are some of the things that may be stopping you, together with a few counter-arguments.

You think if you “put yourself out there” you’ll seem desperate. Nothing is further from the truth.  It’s not actively dating that gives you that oh-so-slightly-desperate aura.

Your judgment hasn’t been so great in the past and you’re a little afraid of your ability to make a sound choice in a man. Your past choices may have been influenced by the fact that you didn’t have a choice.  Get it?  You took whatever came along.  It’s a New Era.  This time around, you get to choose

You’re recovering from your last relationship. Fair enough.  You don’t want to make the mistake of going out there before you’re ready.  Your heart won’t be in it and you’ll come off as needy or depressed or both.  But if you’re reading this it means you’re heading in the right direction.  You can either stop reading and take a complete timeout, or keep reading to help rebuild your confidence and get ready to get out there again.

You’re comfortable in your Home Box. That means you’re comfortable being single too.  You know the saying “no pain, no gain?”  Well, it applies here.  Sometimes you need to make yourself a little uncomfortable to move forward in life.

Excerpted from the book…Smart Man Hunting….Transforming Your Thinking.

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