The Choice: Why Her And Not You?

The Choice:

Why Her And

Not You?

by Leslie Dante

When my cousin’s boyfriend of two years announced to her on her birthday that he was ending “what they had” to marry someone else, she couldn’t stop crying.  When he ended their relationship, she felt betrayed, suicidal, and perplexed. She kept wondering out loud, “Why didn’t he choose me to marry?  What does this woman have that I don’t?”

What makes one woman a better candidate for marriage than another?  This is a question that every woman asks who has ever been dumped by a lover for another? With this question in mind, I set out to talk to two guys who had performed the above action without explanation, to gain some possible insight into why this happens.

Tony made it known that he was not interested in marriage.  He had a woman for every day of the week, and an eye out for every beautiful woman he didn’t know.  If one was tall, with long hair and long legs, and crossed his path, you can bet, they were sharing a bottle of Cristal before the week was out.  He seemed to prefer those who were pretty, vivacious, and fashion savvy.  However, when he got married, he dumped a model type he dated off and on for four years for a short non-descript woman with a short haircut, who possessed the demeanor of a nun.  The puzzled whispers were so loud at his wedding that a group of us had to be shushed.  When I asked him how he chose his bride, he summed it up by saying, “I married the woman who touched my soul in a way it had never been touched before.”

Jake was a guy who lit up a room like a movie star, with looks, charm, and money.  He had a quiet power over women.  He could be kind one minute and dismissive the next.   He would gravitate quickly to the prettiest face in the room and then turn away abruptly if she struck him as easy prey.  He loved glamorous women, but when he suddenly decided to get married, he dumped a long-time girlfriend and chose a woman whose personality was the most glamorous thing about her. She truly defined the words, “average.”  His friends all speculated that the bride had a large sum of money stashed in a bank account.  When I asked him why he chose her, he said. “When I met her, I discovered a spiritual beauty I found irresistible.  I feel connected to her in a way I’ve never experienced with any woman.  She inspires me to be my best self.”

Therefore, the answer is simple…Men marry who they want for whatever reason they decide and no one knows the real answer but them.  Speculation doesn’t count.