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The Dating Game:

Lessons I Learned

by Dani Stone

This has been a rough year so far for me on the dating scene. I got burned a lot because I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing.  Therefore, I made the decision to begin my birthday month with a clean slate and a more alert mind.  I decided to leave behind the “blisters” that still pushed my anger button when I think of all that I experienced at my own hand.  I resolved to make smarter moves from now on.  Here is what I learned.

Take Charge Of Your Feelings:  My evaluative skills weren’t at their best when it came to assessing the feelings of the opposite sex.  I came to realize that I spent too much time rationalizing and misinterpreting behavior that would have not been acceptable if I’d been in my right mind, and not so starved for affection.

Reverse The Chase:  If you see a guy who looks interesting to you, find a way to get his attention.  This calls for a sliver of imagination and a load of confidence, but it won’t work if your self-esteem is in bad shape.  I’ve met tons of guys so far this year by putting myself in a position to be met.  I met one guy who was walking his dog, by simply asking “what kind of a dog is that?”  I didn’t find love, but I had fun and a couple of good encounters.

Hold Off For Compatibility: From now on, the interview process will be more extensive on my part.  I will never again date a guy if we don’t enjoy the same things.  Two months ago, I suffered through a boring dog fight out in the wilderness because the man was fine and driving a Porsche.

Be Less Starry-eyed: I found that it’s not smart to mistake good manners and chivalry for meaningful emotional behavior.  Just because a guy opens the door, pulls out your chair, and offers you his umbrella, doesn’t mean he thinks you’re special.  Sometimes, it’s the one with the worse manners, who’ll come over in the middle of the night and bring you cough syrup.

You Can Only Change Yourself:  I will never again try to reform the guy, who glares at other women when he’s with me…won’t hold my hand in public and drinks a little too much every chance he gets.

Pay Attention:  Bad manners can give a certain insight into your date before you get too attached.  I was out on a blind/double date once with my best friend and her new boyfriend.  My date spent the evening complimenting his friend on “how fine his woman was.”  I hate to admit it, but I ended up staying the whole evening hoping for the best when I should have left him sitting in the restaurant.

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover: Forget about how cute he is.  Wrongdoing guys don’t sneak up on you.  The signs are always there in the beginning if your radar is on and working.

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