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The Hidden Face Of Despair

by M. K. Allison

Though Ginger was a brilliant successful attorney, she smiled brightly as she flubbed her way mindlessly through meaningless encounters all her adult life in a fervent search for Mr. Right.  For Ginger, being “in love” was the main inspiration for breathing and she tried everything to achieve that goal.  She went overboard to ensure a man’s permanency in her life…from co-signing indiscriminately for cars, boats, and planes… to financing “business projects” for handsome under-funded lovers.  In the midst of it all, she could never understand why all her relationships (with never a mention of marriage) usually ended shortly after a steamy month of furious sex, tearful demands, and exorbitant gifts.  

Therefore, when Steven, a handsome “recently relocated physician” entered her life at a fancy party on a hot summer’s eve two years ago, she flipped.  Though it was obvious to her friends, that he was a seasoned player, she didn’t see it.  They all watched in horror, as he seemed to swoop down on her as if he had been sitting on a perch watching from afar and making notes on her weaknesses.  He claimed love at first sight and proposed marriage after three weeks.  He also insisted on a honeymoon in Monte Carlo, but only if he could bear the entire expense.  However, when it came time to purchase the tickets, his money was suddenly tied up in an “off-shore bank account” due to some vague business deal.

Ginger was thirty-nine and convinced Fate had finally smiled on her because she had long dreaded turning 40 without ever being married.   Therefore, the marriage quickly took place and off they went with a European itinerary that included a tour of Paris, and the South of France.  But it was not to be.  After three days of honeymooning on the French Riviera, Steven suddenly disappeared without a trace and left a note behind saying he had made a mistake.  He also left her to pay all the hotel expenses.  Too ashamed to return home without him, she flew on to Paris, checked into a fabulous suite, and threw herself off a seventh-floor balcony, on a dark rainy night.

 Ironically, she was saved by firemen who coincidentally were standing directly beneath her balcony holding a trampoline circle, waiting to catch a man who was threatening to jump three stories above her.  It seems, however, that the incident transformed her into a new woman, who immediately regretted the suicide attempt and was grateful for another chance at life.  She returned home with a renewed sense of self, a new direction to achieving personal happiness and a new commitment to God.  She now believes she was spared for a reason.  She has a new focus, a new purpose, and a new love….herself.

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