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The Singles Scene

by Sarah Smart

Q.  Three weeks ago, my fiancé backed out of our planned church wedding for July and asked for his ring back. He stated the reason as cold feet and depression.  I almost had a nervous breakdown. Then I learned that an ex-girlfriend had come back into the picture, which made it hurt even more.  I spent over $30,000 on this wedding and there is no way I can get my money back.  Last week, he showed up at my job with flowers, apologizing and saying he wants to go through with the wedding after all.  However, it seemed he was acting more out of guilt than love.  I love him, but I’m hesitant.  I don’t want to be embarrassed by calling this wedding off, but I also don’t want to go into a marriage with another woman hanging around on the fringes.  My gut tells me he still loves this ex.  What do you think?

A.  A friend once married a guy with a clinging ex-girlfriend, against her better judgment, and he slipped away from the wedding reception to be with the ex-girlfriend.  Needless, to say she went through hell and the marriage lasted a year. I believe you just got a warning signal that you would be making a big mistake to marry this guy.  I think you ought to give him back to his old girlfriend and let your dress hang in the closet until the real thing comes along.   Stop worrying about being embarrassed.  It’s not about what others think.  It’s about your personal happiness.  When a man calls off a wedding, it’s a shout-out that there is a problem beforehand that going to get worse after the honeymoon, if not before.  Just think, it would be far more embarrassing if he’s seen out with his ex the day after the wedding.

Q.  I saw my best friend’s boyfriend out with another woman, and he was the epitome of a gentleman. He was like another person in the way he was catering to this woman.  He treats my friend like dirt, and she accepts it as “he just has a problem trusting women, because of his divorce.”  I’m tempted to tell her.  What do you say?

A.  I say, no.  Girlfriend ain’t hardly ready to give him up, and she’ll be mad at you for seeing him and telling her.  MYOB and live happily ever after.  Leave her choices to her.

Got a problem or a confession?  We’ve got the answer.  Send us your scenarios regarding The Single Life to beingsinglemagazine@gmail.com and put SingleScenes in the subject line.


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